The Post - An Open Letter (Before I Shake the Dust from My Feet)

 Welcome, God and All...

After my most recent post, I have been struggling to establish a resolution that might ease my conscience. Relationships with those I mentioned rate from strained to non-existent. In trying to hold a middle ground, did I fail to address the immediacy of the situation during the years it mattered most?

An attempt to reach out via a recent phone call resulted in being sent to voicemail (expected), but the call has not been returned (sad but also expected). I thought maybe I should send a letter directly. The difficult part of that is tracking down addresses of my four godchildren. Then there's the real likelihood of my letter being ignored, rejected, or possibly igniting an agitated conversation I no longer wish to hear.

Therapists often say in situations like this that one can make peace with themselves by writing a letter that is never mailed or putting the same in a blog such as this one. The intended recipients would only see it if they happened across a link to my blog, which is unlikely; or if I link the post to my social media account. Since none of them are in my list of friends, and as what I post there is only seen by those who follow me (they pretty much stopped that twelve years ago), it will only be seen by the God who sees everything, He who is Lord of my life.

------------------

Dear Godchildren,

A long time ago (in a world that now seems very far away), you received the breath of life and came into this world. Not long after, your parents, wishing to have you christened because that's the way things are supposed to be, asked your Aunt Diane and I to serve as godparents at your Catholic baptism.

About the same time, I was going through discernment as to becoming an ordained minister in the Catholic Church. I was, therefore, keenly aware of what was required of those who would be godparents. On paper, we checked off all the necessary boxes. We were honored to witness and have a front-row seat the day you were claimed as a child of God.

But there of course was a "fly in the ointment." Actually, more than one. Perhaps the largest was that Aunt Diane's parents - half of your grandparents - rarely took an active part in practicing the Catholic faith by example, that being attending Mass weekly and engaging in prayer with the family at home. When referring to spiritual matters, Grandpa referred to Jesus as "Ralph". Grandma was non-committal; following the tradition of doing most of whatever her husband asked or needed. They, like many other parents of that generation, struggled to raise them as children. Sometimes, life got in the way. Stresses were often released in ways we should know by now aren't good for anyone. It was, in a child's eyes, often seen as just the way things were.

Because of this, there was no foundation or ground rules followed. Their children - your mom and aunts - went their own way. And due to the stresses in the home, they went in a different but similar direction spiritually. This was how your parents' generation dealt with such things. This was how we as teenagers found our way to adulthood. Idyllically, we espoused harmony and understanding, peace and love abounding. John Lennon sang of imagin(ing) there was no heaven, and millions followed, like lemmings into the abyss. Some didn't, but fell back in an even older mentality, the one they experienced. Failure to obey and respect was a one-way ticket to eternal damnation. Were we so naive as to see God as rejecting you because you didn't dot your 'i's and cross every 't'? (Doesn't this have some of the look and feel of today's news cycle?)

Anyway, Aunt Diane and I were proud to be your godparents. When you had questions about spiritual matters, we did our best to answer them sensitively. "My way or the highway" was not the way to win young disciples. The things you were exposed to...that was not the way, either.

As kids, you saw us as "Auntie Fun" and "Uncle Jolly". To me, it was probably an honor undeserved, but who am I to turn that down? I was unconventional. I frequently crossed the lines between maturity and freedom of expression, so why would you take me seriously?

And as you grew into adulthood, you could no longer be shielded from the ugliness of a broken world. Your grandparents died, shaky marriages broke up or simply went their own way and ignored each other on those hot-button issues.

Then the bottom fell out. Aunt Diane, dealing with a family history of health issues, had a series of strokes and died on May 1, 2014. It changed everything.

Aunt Diane had a huge and growing lack of trust in the medical profession. First, over her ability to have children. Once Nick was born, trying to figure out what happened that caused his developmental disability, and then trying to cope with it. Living on one income so she could attempt to do everything she could for him. Keeping him out of the spotlight of constant testing, poking, prodding, and pigeon-holing in the hopes that he could have an independent life filled with love.

I know I have been accused of unwittingly causing Diane's death. It was the most difficult decision of my life, and it wasn't made out of a cheap convenience. I paid dearly for that decision. I am still paying for it. I did not go back to work - I couldn't, beyond continuing to serve my Church, which had been of great help to me and Nick. By the way, they ask more about how he's doing than do any of you. I stopped asking myself why long ago. I tried to keep up with you, showing interest in what you were up to. And for that, I was told without fanfare that I was getting too involved.

However, I haven't stopped doing one thing godparents are supposed to do. One thing that many Catholic and Christian parents do. Pray that somehow, some day, you will find your way to the Church in which you were claimed as a child of God. Sadly, I fear it's going to take something greater than the death of someone you genuinely loved to get you there. Something catastrophic. Something that may only affect you and people closest to you; or the Armageddon (look it up) of our generation that will have devastating effects on most if not all of us.

Oh...and you should know that at age 71, as a type 2 diabetic with stage 3a kidney disease and prostate cancer, and continuing to be father and friend to my nearly 34-year-old Nick, I may still seem unconventional...but I think I've finally grown up. Funny how that works. Anyway, I continue to pray for you, and a host of other things every day. God is here among you. I hope you will come to understand this sooner than later, if you haven't already. 

I hope I don't outlive any of you, but should that be God's will, I will pay my respects one way or another, based on my own ability. I would hope you would do that much for Nick should the time come, but we should not make any promises we might not be able to keep.

With that, I am closing the door on this part of my life. Closing, but not locking. If you ever have some serious questions you want to ask me, you will know then how to find me. May you find true peace in the middle of your life's journey.

Respectfully, and with love,

Uncle Bob

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Until we meet again, may God be with you...and may he have mercy on us all...

+the Phoenix

The "Post" - A 'Godfather' Saga

Welcome, God and All...

Let's state the obvious. I am a sinner, trying to be a saint.

In the many lines throughout this chronicle, I have reminded myself and readers that I'm not perfect, even as I try to point out the flaws in thoughts and actions other than my own.

I have written out reflections of the self before, and they cover serious struggles I have faced, have dealt with, and still working on. I was reminded today about a mission in my life that I realize I have not managed well.

I am godfather to five people in my extended family; one (the oldest) is my youngest first cousin. The other four are a nephew and three nieces from my late wife's sisters' children. I somehow doubt the latter four even remember this - or want to. But I come to realize that it's not entirely their fault, nor the fault of their parents. This requires a bit of backtracking and some explanation.

In the modern age, especially outside Catholicism, the role of godparents is largely honorary. They act as witnesses of the event of a child's reception of baptism. If nothing else, they're supposed to help set a good spiritual example for their godchild or godchildren. As late as a century or so ago, godparents were able to legally assume custody of their godchild(ren) in the event the parents died untimely. Rarely that could lead to legal custody battles, but other than the occasional TV court show case, I have not experienced this sort of thing.

Within the Catholic Church, there is more to this. You can't choose just anyone, as one of the roles of the godparent(s) is to sponsor them for admittance in the Church. It's more than just witnessing. The godparents as well as the parents take vows promising to raise the children in the Catholic faith. The parents make the baptismal vows as a proxy for their children.

Thus, there are requirements that godparents must meet to assume this role - it's more than an honorary witness.

Godparents for children to be baptized and received into the Catholic Church must be Catholic themselves, having received both the Sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation. They must practice their faith consistently, generally by weekly attendance at Mass. And the two godparents must be of opposite gender, one male and one female. I understand that these prerequisites are in themselves quite difficult. And there's one more - the parents must and godparents are strongly urged to attend a sacramental preparation class, to better understand the implications of their respective roles. For a number of years, I facilitated this process, and I have officiated at a good number of baptisms during my five years of active diaconal ministry. Those years, however, generally ran after I had five times become a godfather.

The adult life of my five godchildren are not textbook examples of a practicing Catholic. I was made godfather of my cousin while I was in my early twenties. My uncle and aunt were better at practicing Catholicism than most people I know; this was the youngest of their seven children. The dark spot came when she decided to marry outside the faith. And I mean really outside, marrying a not-so-practicing Buddhist. She still attends Mass, but by herself, and my guess is that her siblings are so much better at practicing Catholicism that some of it rubbed off and just refused to let go.

Of the other four godchildren, two were baptized locally. Their father was an ultra-conservative Catholic who remembered his catechesis enough to carry on about how the kids were headed to Hell if they didn't attend Mass...but he didn't always attend himself, and his wife - my sister-in-law - carried the tradition set by her parents, who rarely saw the inside of a church, and the frequency got much longer as they got older.

The other two godchildren, belonging to another sister-in-law and her first husband were working as roadies for an entertainment company that provided carnival booths, games, and rides for various groups, both civic and church groups. They were working one such carnival for a Catholic parish not far away when my wife and I got a phone call asking if we would serve as godparents for the two children, a year apart in age and the youngest at least six months old. They had talked to the pastor of the church which was holding the carnival and arranged to have the children baptized. And it was done. But again, neither parent was that intent on being, as the Church states in her catechism, "first and primary" educators in teaching the faith to their children.

I have had a few occasions in which I made an effort to hold a conversation with some of my nieces, some of them goddaughters and some not. Most of those might well have been a waste of time, as the girls were in those formative teenage years when the education system leaves them the impression that they know more than their parents or elders about serious life issues. I warned there are always consequences in any decision, especially those with poor choices. But in the end, it went back to the simple fact that there was really no foundation in faith in the home.

Last summer I was seriously upbraided by the oldest of the four. I chronicled this in a previous blog post. I was publicly reflecting on the necessity of our prayers and our own changed ways of life to help push troubled souls toward God in Heaven. It obviously struck a nerve. I thought I acted with compassion in a very sensitive situation, and several people said as much. This, however, disturbed me. A recent homily on baptism and the difficulty of finding qualified godparents just brought all of this back, reminding me that even as I strive for holiness and urge many to seek the Truth in prayer and reflection, that I have made my own wrong turns along the way.

I pray frequently for all my extended family, that God will find the way to bring them into the fold of the sheep of the Good Shepherd. I realize, though, that what triggers finding the way may be catastrophic to them, and in a lesser way, to me. And I know that most saints, canonized or not, started out the same way. I have written before about the superabundance of God's mercy and I stand by it. But I realize that this is another incomprehensible mystery and must fear and respect it with all I can possibly give.

Until we meet again, may God be with you; and may God have mercy on us all...

+the Phoenix

The "Post" Revisited: Oh, That We Would Be Blind No More

 (Originally Posted December 12, 2015)

Welcome, God and All...

Okay, I'm stumped. I need a transfusion of true Christmas spirit. I don't know if it's just me, or if there's a whole combination of things that are keeping me (and others) from feeling this way, but my pool of ideas to share is dry right now.

It should not be dry. After all, we're halfway through Advent; and we're reminded of that as it's Rose Sunday (or Gaudete, a Latin word meaning to be joyful). We're approaching the summit, the climax; and as such, our preparations should be so much in front of us that nothing else gets in the way. Joyful? We should be overflowing with compassion, courtesy, and gentleness. Being all that sure sounds a lot better than what's being broadcast constantly about who we really are.

On the other hand, at some point we went out of our way to seek out deep analysis and opinion about current events and the effect they have on our present and future security. That's why whenever there's breaking news of importance, we don't get simple, factual information; it's a thin layer between much larger layers of speculation mixed with stereotyped behavior. We even know this; but our desire for instant knowledge mandates the coverage be presented in just that way. So we are left with a few choices on how to manage this as part of our daily life, and not-so-surprisingly, none of them are truly beneficial. We buy into the mindset, or we become apathetic to it because we seem powerless to change it; or both. 

Is it possible to put the birth of Jesus Christ into this present time and place? Would not throngs of reporters and cameras follow Mary and Joseph around Bethlehem as they sought shelter? Would not the plight of a woman about to give birth raise awareness to the point that all her needs and those of her child would be provided? And if it were then discovered that Joseph was not the child’s father, wouldn't that raise all kinds of speculation about the identity and whereabouts of the child's biological father? How would Mary's testimony regarding her pregnancy be viewed by the pundits?

Perhaps we indeed are suffering from information overload.

The Gospels give us - as concisely as possible - the story of Jesus. Most certainly, there have been scores of people - some even within the Gospels themselves - who have asked questions, seeking to amplify the message contained within. Thousands of people received and accepted the story before it was even committed to its written form. We who have also received the Gospels can accept them in faith; and we should pray daily for the gift of faith and that it might be increased and strengthened, that it might shine brightly into every dark corner of our lives. God may or may not miraculously put an end to the trouble that constantly plagues us; but we can't put an end to it without Him, either.

To be joyful among reminder after reminder of all the bad news there is right now seems insane - but that is exactly what we must do. Our joy is muted. That joy must bear dignity and compassion to those whose joy has been taken. Acts of mercy have the power to restore joy where it has been taken, and to increase joy elsewhere.

Rejoice in the Lord always! I say it again, rejoice! The day of the Lord is coming...are you ready?

Until we meet again, may God be with you...and may God have mercy on us all...

+the Phoenix

The "Post" Revisited: Populos Sion - Your Popular Scion (or Sign)

The Second Sunday of Advent (Year A)

(from my archives, December 3, 2016)

 Welcome, God and All...

A few years back I took a whimsical look at the Latin Entrance Chants for the four Sundays in Advent. Of the three-year cycle, Year A featured all the original pre-Vatican II texts. For the text for the First Sunday of Advent, I took the opening words of Psalm 25, (Ad te levabi...) "To You, O Lord, I lift my soul...") and in an unusual play on words. came up with "To Your Levis", a brief commentary on the growing trend of online shopping for the holiday, more often in pajamas than jeans. It led, like the reflection below, led to something more of a seasonal spiritual reflection.

The second weekend of Advent begins with an antiphon from Isaiah 30:19. The Latin text is "Populus Sion"; in English, "People of Zion”; but over time became rendered as "Popular Scion", a nod to the Japanese sub-compact car. A holiday tradition developed with cars of this size, beginning with the Volkswagen Beetle. How many people can you pack into one of these vehicles? Then it's off to the mall for shopping, and the subsequent cramming the passengers AND their packages back into that small car. I understand one enterprising young Russian man used this experience to develop the video game Tetris.

But the Scion is a recent casualty as well as a development. With the faltering economy of the 21st Century, parent Toyota stopped producing the Scion; apparently it was not as popular as we thought. However, long before the automobile, we had the "Popular Sign." Burma Shave comes to mind. Also, the poor notion that people need "signs and wonders" in their own time to understand and believe in the presence of God and in the truth that his Son, Jesus came among humanity; and that his presence is still real and among us. More than a sign, it is the greatest gift; helping to establish the tradition of the exchange of gifts in this holy season. 

More importantly, we are urged to share the gifts we receive. I'm not talking about sharing unmentionables here, but gifts of compassion, mercy and love. St. Matthew (our featured evangelist in this liturgical year), writes: "The gift you have received, give as a gift" (Matthew 10:8) The staff at Presentation Ministries (presentationministries.com) posted an excellent reflection on the gift lists we should be considering this season. Regardless of potential risk, in the interest of sharing 'gifts' I'm posting their thoughts below.

One of the most famous (or infamous) Christmas songs from my childhood is "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth." Sadly, if that's all you want, that may be all you'll get. I don't know about you, but I want a lot more than some teeth:

• I want the sick cured, the dead raised, the leprous healed, and demons expelled (Matthew 10:8).
• I want workers for the harvest (Matthew 9:38) and the kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10).
• I want a deep, totally committed relationship with Jesus, not only for me but also for every member of my family, my friends, and all of you.
• I want the baptism in the Spirit, the "streams of running water" (Isaiah 30:25), for every believer in the world.
• I want world evangelism, repentance, conversion, sanctification, and healing.
• I want an end to war, starvation, abortion, racism, and injustice.
• I want Jesus' Second Coming, the end of the world, and "new heavens and a new earth" (Revelation 21:1).
• I want to see Jesus face to face (1 Corinthians 13:12). 

That's what I want for Christmas. And my heavenly Father says (with compassion): "Is that all?"

Indeed, God's abundance is infinite. And this should be a sign for you (see Luke 2:12).

Until we meet again, Come, Emmanuel!

+the Phoenix

The "Post" - In Memoriam 2025

 

Welcome, God and All...

As we remember our own family and friends who have passed into eternal life, I add a partial listing of VIPs that made that passage since last Hallowtide. This is the true purpose of Halloween, to honor, remember, and pray that our dearly departed did not live life in vain. This listing may contain the deaths of both famous and infamous. As Christians, we are commanded by Jesus to pray for both.

1. 2024

   1. October (22^nd - 31^st)

22 - Grizzly 399, 28, grizzly bear (b. 1996)

22 - Fernando Valenzuela, 63, Mexican-born baseball player (Los Angeles Dodgers), owner (Tigres de Quintana Roo) and broadcaster, World Series champion (1981) (b. 1960)

23 - Jack Jones, 86, singer ("Wives and Lovers", "Love Boat") and actor (Over the Garden Wall) (b. 1938)

24 - Clark Kent, 57, Panamanian–born DJ, hip hop record producer and music executive (b. 1966)

25 - Phil Lesh, 84, Hall of Fame musician (Grateful Dead) and songwriter ("Box of Rain", "Truckin'") (b. 1940)

29 - Teri Garr, 79, actress (Young Frankenstein, Tootsie, Mr. Mom) (b. 1944)

2. November

1 - Peanut, c. 7, Eastern grey squirrel, Instagram subject (b. 2017)

3 - Quincy Jones, 91, Hall of Fame composer (The Slender Thread, In the Heat of the Night), record producer (Thriller) and songwriter (b. 1933)

16 - Sir Lady Java, 82, drag performer and transgender rights activist (b. 1942)

18 - Bob Love, 81, basketball player (Chicago Bulls) (b. 1942)

23 -Chuck Woolery, 83, game show host (Wheel of Fortune, Love Connection) and musician (The Avant-Garde) (b. 1941)

25 - Hal Lindsey, 95, evangelist and Christian writer (The Late Great Planet Earth) (b. 1929)

3. December

2 - Debbie Mathers, 69, author (My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem) (b. 1955)

10 - Kreskin, 89, mentalist (b. 1935)

13 - Lemon Drop Kid, 28, Thoroughbred racehorse, winner of the 1999 Belmont Stakes (b. 1996)

16 - Anita Bryant, 84, singer and anti-gay activist (b. 1940)

17 - Mike Brewer, 80, musician (Brewer & Shipley) and songwriter ("One Toke Over the Line") (b. 1944)

20 - Rickey Henderson, 65, Hall of Fame baseball player (Oakland Athletics, New York Yankees, San Diego Padres), World Series champion (1989, 1993) (b. 1958)

27 - Greg Gumbel, 78, sportscaster (CBS Sports, NFL) (b. 1946)

29 - Jimmy Carter, 100, politician, president (1977–1981), governor of Georgia (1971–1975), Nobel Peace Prize laureate (2002) (b. 1924)

2. 2025

   1. January

1 - Wayne Osmond, 73, singer (The Osmonds) (b. 1951)

3 - William Leo Higi, 91, Roman Catholic prelate, bishop of Lafayette (1984–2010) (b. 1933)

7 - Peter Yarrow, 86, singer (Peter, Paul and Mary, "Leaving on a Jet Plane") and songwriter ("Puff, the Magic Dragon") (b. 1938)

10 - Sam Moore, 89, singer (Sam & Dave) (b. 1935)

16 - Bob Uecker, 90, baseball player (Milwaukee Braves, St. Louis Cardinals) and broadcaster (Milwaukee Brewers) (b. 1934)

26 - Norbert, 15, therapy dog (b. 2009)

2. February

7 - Tony Roberts, 85, actor (Annie Hall, Play It Again, Sam, A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy) (b. 1939)

18 - Hurricane, 15, Secret Service dog (b. 2009)

24 - Robert John, 79, singer ("Sad Eyes", "If You Don't Want My Love") (b. 1946)

26 - Gene Hackman, 95, actor (The French Connection, Mississippi Burning, Unforgiven) (b. 1930) (body discovered on this date)

3. March

5 - Pamela Bach, 61, actress (Baywatch) (b. 1963)

11 - Bob Rivers, 68, Hall of Fame radio personality (KISW, KJR) and parody musician (Twisted Christmas) (b. 1956)

21 - Kitty Dukakis, 88, author and political figure, first lady of Massachusetts (1975–1979, 1983–1991) (b. 1936)

29 - Richard Chamberlain, 90, actor (Dr. Kildare, Shōgun, The Thorn Birds) and singer (b. 1934)

4. April

1 - Val Kilmer, 65, actor (Batman Forever, The Prince of Egypt, The Doors) (b. 1959)

3 - Theodore McCarrick, 94, Roman Catholic cardinal, archbishop of Newark (1986–2000) and Washington (2001–2006) (b. 1930)

6 - Jay North, 73, actor (Dennis the Menace, Zebra in the Kitchen, Maya) (b. 1951)

15 - Wink Martindale, 91, disc jockey, game show host (Gambit, Tic-Tac-Dough) and singer ("Deck of Cards") (b. 1933)

23 - Steve McMichael, 67, Hall of Fame football player (New England Patriots, Chicago Bears) and wrestler (b. 1957)

28 - Stanley Girard Schlarman, 91, Roman Catholic prelate, bishop of Dodge City (1983–1998) and auxiliary bishop of Belleville (1979–1983) (b. 1933)

29 - Roy Cooper, 69, rodeo cowboy (b. 1955)

5. May

1 - Ruth Buzzi, 88, comedian (Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In) and actress (Sesame Street, The Berenstain Bears) (b. 1936)

2 - George Ryan, 91, politician, Illinois Secretary of State (1991–1999) and governor (1999–2003) (b. 1934)

20 - George Wendt, 76, actor (Cheers, Fletch, No Small Affair) (b. 1948)

25 - Phil Robertson, 79, television personality (Duck Dynasty), inventor, and founder of Duck Commander (b. 1946)

26 - Rick Derringer, 77, musician (The McCoys), singer ("Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo") and record producer ("Weird Al" Yankovic) (b. 1947)

29 - Alf Clausen, 84, television composer (The Simpsons, ALF, Moonlighting), Emmy winner (1997, 1998) (b. 1941)

6. June

9 - Sly Stone, 82, Hall of Fame singer (Sly and the Family Stone, "Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)", "Everyday People") (b. 1943)

11 - Brian Wilson, 82, singer-songwriter (The Beach Boys, "Good Vibrations") and record producer (Pet Sounds) (b. 1942) (death announced on this date)

14 - Melissa Hortman, 55, politician, speaker (2019–2025) and member (since 2005) of the Minnesota House of Representatives, shot (b. 1970)

17 - Anne Burrell, 55, chef and television personality (Secrets of a Restaurant Chef, Worst Cooks in America, Iron Chef America) (b. 1969)

18 - Lou Christie, 82, singer-songwriter ("Lightnin' Strikes", "Rhapsody in the Rain", "I'm Gonna Make You Mine") (b. 1943)

24 - Bobby Sherman, 81, actor (Here Come the Brides) and singer (b. 1943)

26 - Bill Moyers, 91, journalist, White House Press Secretary (1965–1967) (b. 1934)

27 - Joseph Martin Sartoris, 97, Roman Catholic prelate, auxiliary bishop of Los Angeles (1994–2002) (b. 1927)

7. July

1 - Jimmy Swaggart, 90, televangelist and gospel musician (b. 1935)

9 - Lee Elia, 87, baseball player (Chicago White Sox, Chicago Cubs) and executive (Philadelphia Phillies) (b. 1937)

14 - Bill Chamberlain, 75, basketball player (Memphis Tams, Kentucky Colonels, Phoenix Suns) (b. 1949)

16 - Connie Francis, 87, singer ("Who's Sorry Now?", "Pretty Little Baby") and actress (Where the Boys Are) (b. 1937)

17 - Alan Bergman, 99, composer and songwriter (b. 1925)

21 - Malcolm-Jamal Warner, 54, actor (The Cosby Show, Malcolm & Eddie, Reed Between the Lines) (b. 1970) (death announced on this date)

22 - Chuck Mangione, 84, jazz flugelhornist, trumpeter and composer (b. 1940)

22 - Ozzy Osbourne, 76, English-born Hall of Fame musician (Black Sabbath), songwriter ("Paranoid"), and television personality (The Osbournes) (b. 1948)

24 - Hulk Hogan, 71, Hall of Fame professional wrestler (AWA, WWE), actor (Rocky III) and television personality (b. 1953)

26 - Tom Lehrer, 97, songwriter, satirist and mathematician (b. 1928)

28 - Ryne Sandberg, 65, Hall of Fame baseball player (Chicago Cubs) and coach (Philadelphia Phillies) (b. 1959)

8. August

3 - Loni Anderson, 79, actress (WKRP in Cincinnati, All Dogs Go to Heaven, A Night at the Roxbury) (b. 1945)

20 - Humpy Wheeler, 86, motorsports promoter (NASCAR) (b. 1938)

9. September

4 - Baddiewinkle, 97, internet personality (b. 1928)

10 - Charlie Kirk, 31, conservative activist, founder of Turning Point USA (b. 1993)

10 - Bobby Hart, 86, musician (Boyce and Hart) and songwriter ("Come a Little Bit Closer", "Last Train to Clarksville") (b. 1939)

14 - Jim Edgar, 79, politician, governor (1991–1999) and secretary of state (1981–1991) of Illinois, member of the Illinois House of Representatives (1977–1979) (b. 1946)

16 - Robert Redford, 89, actor (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, All the President's Men) and film director (Ordinary People), Oscar winner (1980) (b. 1936)

19 - Sonny Curtis, 88, Hall of Fame musician (The Crickets) and songwriter ("I Fought the Law", "Walk Right Back") (b. 1937)

10. October (thru 10/25)

9 - Sister Jean Dolores Schmidt, BVM, 106, religious sister (Sisters of Charity of the Blessed Virgin Mary) and chaplain (Loyola Ramblers) (b. 1919)

11 - Diane Keaton, 79, actress (Annie Hall, The Godfather, Something's Gotta Give), Oscar winner (1978) (b. 1946) (death announced on this date)

16 - Ace Frehley, 74, guitarist (Kiss) (b. 1951)

23 - June Lockhart, 100, actress (Lost in Space, Lassie, Petticoat Junction) (b. 1925)

May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed through Your mercy, O Lord, rest in peace.

Until we meet again, may God be with you...and may God have mercy on us all…

+the Phoenix

The 'Post': The 'Stuff" of Dreams

 Welcome, God and All...

Some of our most profound experiences happen when the subconscious produces a drama only seen with the eyes closed, in the world of dreams.

The Bible contains several instances of visions received in dreams. In the Old Testament, Joseph and Daniel interpreted dreams of serious import to Pharaoh and Nebuchadnezzar, respectively. In the New Testament, Joseph (Jesus' guardian and foster father) receives dreams from an angel (likely the Archangel Gabriel) to take Mary, already pregnant, as his spouse; and to flee Bethlehem for Egypt during the raging of Herod the king, and still when it was safe to return home to Nazareth. In the Acts of the Apostles, Peter receives a vision in a dream in which he is shown that the Christian world did not have to subscribe to the dietary and other restrictions of the Jewish faith - thus showing that Christ's mission and ministry was to be open to everyone.

The first Inside Out movie from Disney and Pixar depicted a scenario of how dreams happen and are played out when you are not quite asleep and not fully awake. The film's humorous take on Riley's subconscious is one-way dreams walk one though a replay of a past experience. Dreams can be symbolic, too. Those dreams and visions throughout much of the Bible run the gamut from obviously simple interpretation to things that challenge us to understand what the dreams and visions represent. The symbolism behind dreams has its own place in modern-day psychoanalysis.

Dreams can be recurring; that is, can replay several times such as the anniversary of a loved one's death, or a past experience that have sudden twists and turns and flashes between one scene and another, unrelated in any way.

Having said that, I had a very serious and troubling dream recently. Before I get into its specifics, I should update the reader on real-life events in my life that I believe served as a trigger to this specific dream.

The targeted restructuring of one parish in which I serve merging with a neighboring parish stalled, having the Church equivalent of a restraining order as a result of a petition by my parish to review and eventually overturn the decree of the diocesan bishop to effect the merge. I am trying to be a discerning listener as factions on either side of the issue are sorting out the plusses and minuses of the immediate situation. Listening is one thing I understood was part of diaconal ministry, even if only to allow all sides of a situation to vent. I have no power or influence whatever in the final decision, which will come from Rome "soon". But as I have a vested interest in the outcome, I listen with patience and restraint.

Meanwhile, at the other parish I serve, I was asked and subsequently volunteered to assist with livestreaming daily Mass. But some complications not of my own making are giving this the look and feel of a part-time job. Indeed, all of the ministry projects in which I'm involved, although some are temporary, are keeping me very busy.

And then there are bizarre stories that can only happen within the Church. The bizarre debate over the use of the (1962) Traditional Latin Mass, the hypersensitivity and inconsiderate references to sexual overtures, even the argument over what constitutes good and appropriate music in the liturgy are all within my sphere of experience.

And a news item I read the other day was also upsetting. In the Diocese of Pittsburgh PA, there is a rather unusual situation. According to reports, a single parish has seven satellite locations or "worship sites" - each one at one time a separate parish, but now all under one pastoral umbrella due to restructuring. The main parish just announced that it must close the seven other campuses due to financial circumstances. It stands to reason; restructuring took financial concerns into consideration along with clerical staffing. But how this was allowed to be created in the first place is the likely reason for its failure, hence the decision to close these other facilities.

Makes you wonder just what is going on between the Church of Christ (Catholic) and the "Church Incorporated", and what bizarre twists and turns have led us to where we are now. And herein lies what my subconscious had to play with. That, and the lack of deep sleep - due to neuropathy in my feet and hot flashes (bed sweats) as a side effect of the medication I am taking for prostate cancer, all comes together in the following scene.

I am in a church, presumably for Mass, and the first thing I see is children playing in the sanctuary - tossing around the empty chalice, crayon drawing on the altar linens, doing what toddlers do to hymnals. And I am visibly upset. This is the house of prayer to God, and someone has turned it into a playground!

Someone had to allow this to happen (certainly not the children's parents), and while Jesus said "let the children come to Me" I didn't believe this was what He intended. So I locate a man who appeared to be the facilitator, and I let him have it. A verbal barrage, from both barrels. How can this be allowed? Doesn't anybody else realize that this is a sacred place? You are allowing this house of God to be defiled, and it must stop! NOW!!

And with a simple gesture redirecting my gaze to the scene over which I was so angered, the Mass was going on as it normally would, and people were receiving Holy Communion...and there were many, many empty seats.

And then I became aware that I was no longer asleep.

I don't have a clue what this is supposed to mean or symbolize. And all I could think in my mind and pray, for the next fifteen minutes, over and over, was God, why are You showing me this? What am I supposed to make of this? What have I done or am doing that would paint something like this in my subconscious mind?

I have been struggling with my true worth before God lately, so much so that I have wondered whether I need to see a spiritual counselor. Time and finances have kept me from doing so. I have talked to colleagues over some of this, mainly to get it out from inside and not really expecting any answer. The vibe I'm getting is that I'm doing fine and anyone at this level of attachment to things of the Church should not consider this unusual. Continue to pray. Continue doing what you're doing, because you do it very well. That being said, I still feel that I have an uncommon and yet, still very confused sense of how any of this fits in with what I've been taught regarding the intent Jesus had as he named Peter as "the rock on which (He) will build (His Church).

How many more nights like this can I expect? Pray for me as I pray for you.

Until we meet again, may God be with you - and may He have mercy on us all...

+the Phoenix

The Post: Of Cabbage-Heads and Would-Be Kings

 Welcome, God and All (I think)...

It's been six months since I last completed a reflection and posted it here.

In that time, while trying to maintain a quiet life, I've come to realize that I cannot stay silent or ignorant of the world around me. Social media keeps banging loudly at my virtual door in the latter; and in the former, my Lord and God commands that there are times when I must speak out.

You got me right. As a Catholic Christian disciple, I'm supposed to call out injustice wherever and wherever it exists. Additionally, I have to do so in such a way as to address the issues and not judge those who create such issues or promote said injustice. This is something I shouldn't do rashly.

We are, by and large, a reactionary society. Something is said or done, and we look to see how our neighbors and leaders, and sometimes even our pastors react to it. Our quest to know what the trending reactions are is so great, we turn to media pundits and even former government leaders for their reactions. All this really seems to do, however, is to muddy the murky landscape to the point that it's extremely difficult to navigate.

i don't believe for one minute that political leadership isn't aware of this and will purposely manipulate facts and speculation to state their case on how they intend to deal with an issue. In a society seriously divided, a reaction on one side forces a counter-reaction on the other side in a spiral that digs deeper and deeper so that it would take direct divine intervention to resolve the issue.

Chicago, near my home turf, seems to be at the epicenter of a number of things. Cardinal Blase Cupich was to bestow a lifetime achievement award to retiring Illinois Senator Dick Durbin, for his work in dealing with the plight of impoverished immigrants. This caused immediate reaction from several other bishops as well as some of the Catholic faithful; Durbin's voting record favored the right to procure an abortion and as such, negated his eligibility to receive such an award. Now that we have an American-born, English-speaking pope, Leo XIV was immediately asked to weigh in on the situation. His answer surprised many. Being 'pro-life' is an all-encompassing thing. You can't be against abortion and promote the separation of families torn apart due to the immigration status of one or both parents. Senator Durbin, aware of the scandal this could cause, declined acceptance of the award - a sign, perhaps, that this is another "near occasion" of sin.

And on that immigration front, because of the Trump administration's overstatement of the issue, efforts were stepped up in a big way to remove perceived illegals from the country, especially in 'sanctuary' cities like Chicago and Portland, Oregon, where local officials offer free health care, driver's licenses and deep subsidies on housing and do not cooperate with federal agents executing their mandated orders. That not being enough, the National Guard has been called into these cities, along with Los Angeles and Washington DC, even as state and local authorities say they're not wanted.

The President is well known for going to extremes to advance his agenda. We're split down the middle on it. Some say that he is the first American leader in forty years to effectively get anything done, while others claim that his leadership style resembles that of dictators and royalty from other eras in world history (and other leaders in different parts of the world today). Meanwhile, the Church, as the world's moral mouthpiece, vainly attempts to be apolitical, and it's not working.

And what is our reaction to all this?

One would hope there would be prayer first, that the Holy Spirit would motivate us to appropriate action. What seems to be happening, though, is to turn this situation into a nation-wide protest movement and party at the same time, in a so-called "family-friendly" rally called "No Kings". Now we haven't had "royalty" in America in 250 years, and, to my best knowledge, if we had a king, we would not likely be allowed to hold such a protest.

Organizers and some of the participants say the purpose of this huge gathering is to make a statement to the President and his administration, as well as his backing political party. Excuse me, but they're ignoring you. Not to mention that Congress can't get a spending bill passed and as a result, the government has been effectively shut down for the last two weeks, with no end in sight. Yet congressmen and senators are still getting paid..to do nothing; while furloughed government employees can't pay bills and are lining up at food pantries to be able to feed themselves and their families.

To further draw attention to themselves, some protesters have donned costumes, dressing like frogs, unicorns, and sheep. It's not a Halloween party - and don't get me started on how I see that a sacred time to remember our beloved dead (and to remind us of our own death someday), has been totally bastardized by the culture. They don't realize that God sees the sin within us through the hideous and grotesque costumes we choose to wear. What would Jesus do to a generation that charges admission to scare you out of your skin (and makes you sign affidavits to release them from any liability should someone have an extreme reaction to their creepshow)? 

How do I testify the truth in this, especially to colleagues and family and friends who may believe I'm over-reacting? 

It's a difficult situation. I am not a big people person. Growing up in a large Catholic household, miles away at the time from anything meaningful, split-up from what neighborhood friends I had because I went to a Catholic school, and later because the public school system couldn't be consistent about where they sent us 'outliers' - and ridiculed by peers because they falsely thought the town I lived in was also home to a state mental hospital - made me something of an isolationist. So I am troubled by having to accept their opinions on issues when I believe they are being misled or under-informed. Or am I the real problem?

Little by little I have come out of my shell, despite having to uproot myself at least four times - and Lord, I love you despite the fact that I am getting too old to keep dealing with the same circular arguments again and again and again. 

I acknowledge You, Christ Jesus, and You alone, as my One True King and Lord and Savior. Lead me in your righteousness! Make Thy way plain before my face!!

Amen...

Until we meet again, may God be with you...and may God have mercy on us all,

+the Phoenix