Welcome, God and All...
Following last year's "Summer of Surprises", there was a flurry of activity surrounding the Targeted Restructuring of nineteen Catholic parishes in the Diocese of Joliet.
As part of the process required by Church canon law, 'listening' sessions were held to obtain input from potentially affected parishioners. One might expect that these meetings were not cordial, and I was not surprised. Many attend meetings like these and come away from them thinking that no matter what input was given at them, it was noted but never intended to be acted upon.
Then the committee assigned by the diocese presented its potential scenarios. Of four presented, only one would keep the parish I have served for nearly 25 years open. Petitions were developed, and everybody and anybody was asked to sign them, especially in lieu of our unique apostolate to the workers in the many office buildings within the parish boundaries. That was in November and early December. Then the Christmas holidays were upon us, and the waiting began. In early January an announcement came that there would be a delay in the decision by the diocesan bishop. Was it a ray of hope?
Last week, just before Saint Valentine's Day, that decision was announced. Not only that, but the explanation that the bishop accepted the committee's recommendations without exception. He had also presented this decision to two diocesan oversight boards, which unanimously agreed with his decision. This, after having spent "much time in discernment and prayer" (which in reality was less than two weeks' time).
Last summer, when the announcement came that my parish was considered for restructuring, many of us - myself included - prepared for the worst. The scenarios presented last fall confirmed that the worst was likely a done deal.
And so it was. There was one concession. While we are merging with a nearby congregation, and their campus is the designated church, our campus will not be closed permanently but remain open as a "worship site" - only nobody really quite knows what that means. It will still be three months before a new pastor is assigned to this "new" entity, and he will have the final say on how much our campus will be utilized. Staffing will be important. Where there were two sets of staff operating two facilities, now there will be only one. Will there be a second priest assigned to the parish to assist the new pastor? Or a deacon, who could at least preside over a Communion service during the week. Nobody knows right now. What I see as optimal is that the daily Mass at 12 noon would be maintained (or replaced by said Communion service) for the benefit of those faithful office workers. Maybe one Mass on the weekend for the local faithful; but that depends on whether or not there is an available priest... and all that hinges on the yet-to-be-named pastor. Meanwhile a transition committee consisting of parishioners from both campuses will form and meet to discuss these and other matters to present to the new pastor once he is named.
I don't fit in any of this, as I wrote last summer. I have looked at other parishes with multiple sites - there's one such parish in my own hometown - and there's only one music ministry that covers services at both. All staff positions in this merge must apply - or reapply - if they intend to have a job in the new entity. And that's for regular staff, which would include the director of the music ministry. Outside of the people I have worked with over the last few years, I am an unknown. I would not be applying for the director's position, as I am underqualified. Cantors are, in many parishes, a volunteer ministry. I was very fortunate to have served in a place that paid well for my work. That is all up in the air now. The only way I might have in is if the director I currently work with is hired and calls upon me - and if the new pastor was willing to continue to compensate me. Then there's the fact that I commute forty miles round trip to do this, which I'm sure would have an unknown pastor who doesn't know me scratching his head.
As I wrote last summer, I have been planting some small seeds in my older stomping grounds, places where people know me. And to that end I am busy with a lot of volunteer leadership. Yes, I am happy for it, and I may be able to adjust things to live with less income - but I am still concerned. There are challenges even here - a group I lead offered a weeknight session that another gentleman had volunteered to cover, only to bow out after the holiday break. I had already committed to the schedule dates and times for the spring sessions, so I responsibly am covering them both.
If this were not enough, life is getting more and more complicated. A gentleman at the parish who I was fairly certain would be called to work on this transition committee died just days ago. A local Methodist church I visited periodically some years ago because I had musical friends there; a campus built less than twenty years ago, is closing its doors at the end of February. Some of their woes are similar to ours - declining attendance and tithing revenues. Their issues run deeper - a schism has developed in the Methodist church because of progressivism. American Methodists wanted to allow same-sex marriage and "gay" clergy but were seriously and surprisingly outvoted by African congregations.
Healthwise, my son and I are stable and trying to deal with the things we've known about for the last several years. But these twists and turns create stress and anxiety i can neither ignore nor sustain. Add to this the uncertainty of just about everything the news cycle spews out each and every day. Are we really as bad as we look on television? Is that how God sees us from a distance?
I can assure you that I turn these matters over to God in prayer daily. I know it is not perfect. I often multitask while I am at prayer. Some say that's okay; others say that it's wrong in a big way. The latter group often quote biblical verses which state that if you don't focus on God alone your ticket to heaven won't get punched. But the interruptions - those real and those contrived - have been impossible to overcome.
And to all this, my sister - who really has been a Godsend to both my son and me (and who herself is dealing with health issues and so forth) - she tells me that I worry too much, and that God will provide. I see in my behavior patterns that my worrying and other attributes takes after my dear mother, God rest her soul. That God will provide is something I know but need reminders.
I am praying that the ride downhill does not become like a runaway freight train. I will survive the crash only if God steadies the momentum.
Until we meet again, may God be with you...and may He have mercy on us all...
+the Phoenix