The Post: It's All Downhill From Here, Part 2

 Welcome, God and All...

I have had a few days to deliberate whether or not I should reflect here or make recent events more public knowledge. Many a scammer have been known to prey and capitalize on those suffering even the most seemingly trivial things. Still, there is the call of God to ask in order to receive, seek in order to find, and knock so that the door may be opened. 

In Part 1 I indicated that I would pray that God steady the momentum or the steepness of this journey down the mountain. So far, He has - but this ride is still close to the peak, and there may be many twists, turns, and steep drops coming that are as yet unseen. What I do know is I must rely on His grace more than perhaps I ever have; more than I perceived I would during all that happened and began eleven years ago today.

Most of Part 1 had to do with the decreed merging of the parish I've served for over twenty years. While something of a lifeline was added to the decree, I have since gained an understanding of what a "worship site" status is. According to Church law, a worship site is required to celebrate Mass only twice a year, usually on the feast day of its namesake and on the anniversary date of its consecration or opening. As I mentioned in that post, the worship site is maintained and staffed by the designated (in this case, other) parish church.

An appeal was sent to the diocesan bishop, which was our right under Church law. It was summarily denied. While the bishop indicated that the new entity should make efforts to keep a regular schedule of services at the worship site, it is completely up to the priest (as yet unnamed) who will become pastor of the newly merged parishes in July. Our next step in the process is to take our appeal to the appropriate dicastery (court, if you will) at the Vatican in Rome. It's happening as I write. We are still holding onto some hope as we await an answer.

Still, I believe our chances of having the diocesan bishop's decree overturned are slim. I am coming to believe that I see the end of this chapter in life ending soon; and not just because the odds don't appear to favor us. It also generally holds that those places designated as worship sites close within a year, simply because there are no priests available to staff them.

It seems like an eternity ago, but it's been three years since I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. It was strange hearing at the time, especially since I do not know of any history of diabetics in my family's medical history. I believe it's easier to develop diabetes because of the mass production of prepared foods designed to make life easier. I know this was one thing Diane tried to steer us away from before her own health issues got the better of her.

Because of this diagnosis, I am now seeing doctors on a consistent basis, to monitor my glucose levels and, as it's turning out, assessing what this is doing to the rest of my earthly body. I contracted diabetic retinopathy, requiring injections in my eyes periodically to prevent vision loss. I am also seeing a kidney specialist, who tells me as nicely as he knows how that my kidney functions are slowly failing and has prescribed further medication to help support them. On top of it all, recent blood tests have indicated trouble with my prostate. A further, more detailed test confirmed that I have prostate cancer. It's not treatable. It's not curable. I will undergo a procedure called a PET scan next week to determine if the cancer has spread to any other organs, particularly the pancreas or the liver, for if found there it can spread rapidly.

I have already let a few people know about my diagnosis, and I have prayed that God guide me through all this. As I indicated before, I intend to see some things through to their ultimate conclusion as God permits. I have asked others to pray for me, and I am asking you, dear reader, to do the same. It is about all I can ask for.

I intend to ask one of the priests I'm serving under that I wish to receive the Church's sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. Note that this can be received as needed; it's not a one-time thing like 'last rites' would be (although there are many similarities). One does not have to have a priest come to a hospital to administer the sacrament; it can be done in the church if the recipient is able to get there and does not have a contagious disease. I also believe that a deacon can administer the basic form of this sacrament (with the exception of combining the sacrament of reconciliation within this rite). And yes, I know it may inconvenience somebody, but I want this enough to ignore that factor to the simplest degree possible. I will go to the mountain, since I am able to do it. But who to ask, and how to arrange it is where I am momentarily stuck. Your prayers are helping me here, so thank you in advance!

Eleven years ago, on my son's birthday, I came home to 'celebrate' the awful news that I had become unemployed, and my life's path was suddenly plunged into chaos and darkness that would take weeks to emerge from. I have asked God not to let these recent developments spoil my son's birthday this year, nor the celebrations of Holy Week and Easter, which are likely to be my last in my current situation. Only God knows what lies ahead. Again, Lord, I understand this to be a cross you have presented to me. I accept it as such and even embrace it to the best of my ability. Remain with me and do not let me become overwhelmed by all that surrounds me, except for the superabundant love you have always offered me.

So, until we meet again, may God be with you...and may God have mercy on us all...

+the Phoenix

The Post: Fame Can Turn on You Quickly

 (from my archives, March 24, 2018; updated March 24, 2025)

Welcome, God and All...

One thing that’s consistent in a (rapidly) changing world is how fast human thought and expression can turn completely around among the masses. We need look no further than President Trump or FB’s founder Mark Zuckerberg to see examples. Now it’s easy to think that because of nearly instant access to the latest sound bytes in the Information Age, reaction time is equally near instant. The accounts of Jesus’ Passion and Death in the Gospels, with all the detail they contain – even though they were written roughly fifty years after the events – convey a similar sense of instant reaction among the masses. Of course, there were groups of people with privileged access, people “in the know”, who discussed, analyzed, made judgments, and planned action. The moment it became known to the general public, any reaction was generally swift. How else can we explain large crowds cheering Jesus as he entered Jerusalem for the last time, only to call for his crucifixion four days later?

A glance at the major characters, all seeking their disproportionate level of fame at the center of perhaps the most chaotic times in all of human history, reveals weaknesses we still have to this day.

Judas Iscariot – the weakest link in the chain of Jesus’ inner circle. Certainly, he had become confounded, but more so than the others. On one hand he complains that it’s a waste of money to have expensive ointment poured on Jesus’ body; but he’s really beginning to think Jesus has lost focus, so he is an easy target for confrontation and manipulation by…

Caiaphas and Annas – As high priests they held sway over everyone who claimed to be devout Jews. What Jesus did and taught and preached did not fit in their presumed profile of God’s promised Messiah. Because of that, they saw him as a threat to themselves, using the Roman occupation of the time as a plausible argument and excuse. When they finally confront Jesus, of course it’s his elimination they want. But they’re supposedly bound by their own law, especially as it’s the high feast of Passover; so, they force themselves into a flimsy alliance with the Romans and…

Pontius Pilate – who would rather be anywhere other than Judea, because the empire’s attempts at keeping the peace has generally gone down the path of futility. He sees through Caiaphas’ passing the buck and tries to expose it. When that fails, he offers a choice, hoping that the cheering crowds of only days ago might exonerate the charges against Jesus; but even this gets confounded to where I’ve observed the possibility of the question raised by Pilate to the crowds sounded like: Which son of the father shall I release to you? In the end, fearing that news of further Judean unrest would travel fast to Rome (as ultimately it did), Pilate sentences Jesus to death by crucifixion.

The eleven remaining Apostles, as well as any other disciples within sight who might have come to Jesus’ defense – largely fled. John would somehow manage to witness his master’s death. Peter – who was the Type A in the group for better or worse – denied knowing Jesus. Judas, realizing he was made a puppet by Caiaphas, took his own life. Saint Mark’s account has a young man resisting arrest or restraint, and escapes, naked, into the night. Tradition holds that this streaker is Mark himself.  

Jesus – after three years of speaking, he becomes silent. Now we might make reason for this because a) in his humanity, after all the torture suffered before his execution, there was virtually no opportunity to think, and certainly no real time to answer in his own defense; and b) in his divinity, Jesus knew what was coming, had known it for all eternity, and was obedient to the will of his Father to the last.

As noted above, I made this reflection in 2018; two full years before I had even heard of the now successful streaming video series The Chosen (and a full year prior to the series' debut). Now about to release its fifth season on the events of Holy Week from Palm Sunday through the Last Supper on Holy Thursday, I have been watching and re-watching the series from its beginning. While the writers have used non-biblical subplots to tie the Gospel accounts together (and rearranged a few lines here and there without severely affecting their impact), it is still the story more people are talking about instead of trying to ignore. Because of the 'extra' material, you won't find the Church's seal of approval, the imprimatur, among its credits. Nor is it likely to win a coveted Emmy award despite some of the best performances I have seen on-screen.

Comparing my thoughts to my experience watching The Chosen, I find it interesting that my quick character study isn't far from the vision that Dallas Jenkins, his creative team, and the talented actors and actresses have brought to the screen. While I have been passive on some of the fan hype, as the long-awaited new release is imminent, I am truly anticipating what is about to come, the stuff of the most tragic event in the history of the world. And it would be, too; were it not for what followed. There are many events in history, both general and personal, that we would want to forget; and others that manage to be forgotten. There are events that have claimed thousands upon thousands of lives. This event, and its aftermath, would reclaim all life – for God.

How quickly can our fame and fortunes change!

Until we meet again, may God be with you...

+the Phoenix

Community Building

 March 3, 2025

Welcome, God and All...

I was recently asked by a colleague and friend, What is the reasoning in your mind that makes it worthy of driving forty miles to worship God every week? (Or words to that effect.)

It's a question worth considering.

Nearly a century ago, when fewer people were on the road, so to speak, churches were seen as the centers of community. In neighborhoods and hamlets across America, even in her biggest cities, at your church everybody knew your name, and vice-versa. You were part of the action because that's where the action was. Local congregations saw themselves as one big (and usually) happy family. Sure, there were always passionate differences of opinion, but that's been around since Cain 'lost' Abel (and that's an extreme example).

That all changed about 75 years ago. We became mobile. We went where we pleased, and it wasn't necessarily the church or synagogue of our choice - and for many, it wasn't even a choice. The 'day of rest' ordained by God for His glory was becoming a day of leisure. Fast forward to today, and that sense of leisure has taken the driver's seat. In the wake of the COVID pandemic it seems to be a neat thing to worship the God who meets you where you are in the lap of leisure - via cyberspace, at home, in your bathrobe. And that's IF you even choose to recognize God's presence in our lives. 

We can place blame on any number of things for the decline of church attendance and participation. A tight economy that makes it difficult to give the traditional 10% charitably. So many agencies and causes that need and seek out your discretionary income. A lack of meaningful catechesis or treading the unsettled waters of heretical thought. But that didn't hold back the church communities of the 1930s and earlier. They too suffered economic hardships, the specter of warfare, loss of life from natural disasters and catastrophic illnesses, and yet they thrived! They believed God was with them, and through their prayers, they were able to meet their challenges and grow through them.

Elsewhere in these pages I have written about my own sojourn in the desert, seeking to make an impact. As an impressionable teen and young adult, I saw the majority of folks symbolically pat me on the head, saying "that's nice" when I wanted to find my way to making friends, a major building block in community building. Then there were the one or two opportunists who wanted to grab more attention for themselves and exploited my talents for their own hoarded benefit. It would be easy to become disillusioned over that. I can't say I wasn't - doubts and the like are everywhere in life. I did discover one important thing in all of that, though. For me, to be honest about my shortcomings and concerns and to express them did more to find community than trying to assimilate by attempting to be something I am not.

The community I am among right now knows me. They welcomed me as a stranger in their midst and made me feel as one of their own over the course of time. At a time I really needed community - the sudden loss of so much eleven years ago - they were there and rallied around me. I thank God for them. I do what I do well, and some things I do not quite so well, to praise God and serve him through this community.

Sadly, this community is being broken up. It's happening because statistics and measurements indicate the community is no longer viable or sustainable, and there is nobody to spare to guide and spark sustainability, no resource available to breathe life into it. We're supposed to be consoled through the words of Christ through St. John: "Do not let your hearts be troubled...in My Father's house there are many dwelling places" (John 14:1-2a), a passage read at funerals. Hey, we are not yet dead! (Monty Python, Spamalot)

The Church exists so that people can thrive and grow spiritually by building community. When you revert to statistics alone to prove stability or lack thereof, I believe you take God and Christ out of the picture. Nothing can thrive without that divine presence, that journey together to make life better for the many and not the few. Does the Church have ALL the answers? In my innocent youth I thought so. I know now that it doesn't. I mean, Jesus reminds us that all who remain faithful to his word, mission and ministry will find and build community and peace. But you can't measure it in the long or short term. Pope Francis has cautioned that relying on too many things of this earth - those things measured by trends and statistics - can lead us to stagnation and instability. That mindset turns community into another disposable asset of what I call the "Church Incorporated", and a disastrous outcome is at the end of that road.

The Church's Number One priority is to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ. Her assets are not in how many attend or how much revenue is generated year-over-year, but in the faithfulness of her members who get the work done. They build the community by attending to the sick, feeding the hungry (physically and spiritually), consoling the sorrowful, and welcoming the stranger in their midst. They serve each other by acknowledging God's glory in prayer, art, and music; by setting a holy example for their children and neighbors. During the Roman persecution of the 3rd Century, when Pope St. Sixtus II was martyred, his Deacon, St. Laurence, was summoned by the Roman magistrate and ordered to surrender the "treasure of the Church", he liquidated the material assets, gave the proceeds to the poor, and presented those poor as the Church's treasure, which indeed they were. He understood that the Church was the house of God for the People of God and knew what the business model was - just as Christ had outlined it in the Gospels.

Jesus promised St. Peter (who was far from sainthood at the time) that his Church would stand firm. Peter would have an integral role in building the early Christian community, as would St. Paul and all who would follow them...including those struggling to maintain community in the world today, including me. I pray God continue to sustain us in our fight to maintain our identity as a community, faithful in Christ; wherever this takes us, be it where we are, or five blocks or 500 miles away, or half a world away.

That's my answer, and I'm sticking to it. You might find some further support in the 1990 Christian anthem, For the Sake of the Call by Steven Curtis Chapman. I know I did, every time I questioned my reasoning over living out my vocation. (Look it up on YouTube.)

Until we meet again, may God be with you, and may God have mercy on us all...

+the Phoenix

The Post: It's All Downhill From Here

Welcome, God and All...

Following last year's "Summer of Surprises", there was a flurry of activity surrounding the Targeted Restructuring of nineteen Catholic parishes in the Diocese of Joliet.

As part of the process required by Church canon law, 'listening' sessions were held to obtain input from potentially affected parishioners. One might expect that these meetings were not cordial, and I was not surprised. Many attend meetings like these and come away from them thinking that no matter what input was given at them, it was noted but never intended to be acted upon.

Then the committee assigned by the diocese presented its potential scenarios. Of four presented, only one would keep the parish I have served for nearly 25 years open. Petitions were developed, and everybody and anybody was asked to sign them, especially in lieu of our unique apostolate to the workers in the many office buildings within the parish boundaries. That was in November and early December. Then the Christmas holidays were upon us, and the waiting began. In early January an announcement came that there would be a delay in the decision by the diocesan bishop. Was it a ray of hope?

Last week, just before Saint Valentine's Day, that decision was announced. Not only that, but the explanation that the bishop accepted the committee's recommendations without exception. He had also presented this decision to two diocesan oversight boards, which unanimously agreed with his decision. This, after having spent "much time in discernment and prayer" (which in reality was less than two weeks' time).

Last summer, when the announcement came that my parish was considered for restructuring, many of us - myself included - prepared for the worst. The scenarios presented last fall confirmed that the worst was likely a done deal. 

And so it was. There was one concession. While we are merging with a nearby congregation, and their campus is the designated church, our campus will not be closed permanently but remain open as a "worship site" - only nobody really quite knows what that means. It will still be three months before a new pastor is assigned to this "new" entity, and he will have the final say on how much our campus will be utilized. Staffing will be important. Where there were two sets of staff operating two facilities, now there will be only one. Will there be a second priest assigned to the parish to assist the new pastor? Or a deacon, who could at least preside over a Communion service during the week. Nobody knows right now. What I see as optimal is that the daily Mass at 12 noon would be maintained (or replaced by said Communion service) for the benefit of those faithful office workers. Maybe one Mass on the weekend for the local faithful; but that depends on whether or not there is an available priest... and all that hinges on the yet-to-be-named pastor. Meanwhile a transition committee consisting of parishioners from both campuses will form and meet to discuss these and other matters to present to the new pastor once he is named.

I don't fit in any of this, as I wrote last summer. I have looked at other parishes with multiple sites - there's one such parish in my own hometown - and there's only one music ministry that covers services at both. All staff positions in this merge must apply - or reapply - if they intend to have a job in the new entity. And that's for regular staff, which would include the director of the music ministry. Outside of the people I have worked with over the last few years, I am an unknown. I would not be applying for the director's position, as I am underqualified. Cantors are, in many parishes, a volunteer ministry. I was very fortunate to have served in a place that paid well for my work. That is all up in the air now. The only way I might have in is if the director I currently work with is hired and calls upon me - and if the new pastor was willing to continue to compensate me. Then there's the fact that I commute forty miles round trip to do this, which I'm sure would have an unknown pastor who doesn't know me scratching his head.

As I wrote last summer, I have been planting some small seeds in my older stomping grounds, places where people know me. And to that end I am busy with a lot of volunteer leadership. Yes, I am happy for it, and I may be able to adjust things to live with less income - but I am still concerned. There are challenges even here - a group I lead offered a weeknight session that another gentleman had volunteered to cover, only to bow out after the holiday break. I had already committed to the schedule dates and times for the spring sessions, so I responsibly am covering them both.

If this were not enough, life is getting more and more complicated. A gentleman at the parish who I was fairly certain would be called to work on this transition committee died just days ago. A local Methodist church I visited periodically some years ago because I had musical friends there; a campus built less than twenty years ago, is closing its doors at the end of February. Some of their woes are similar to ours - declining attendance and tithing revenues. Their issues run deeper - a schism has developed in the Methodist church because of progressivism. American Methodists wanted to allow same-sex marriage and "gay" clergy but were seriously and surprisingly outvoted by African congregations.

Healthwise, my son and I are stable and trying to deal with the things we've known about for the last several years. But these twists and turns create stress and anxiety i can neither ignore nor sustain. Add to this the uncertainty of just about everything the news cycle spews out each and every day. Are we really as bad as we look on television? Is that how God sees us from a distance?

I can assure you that I turn these matters over to God in prayer daily. I know it is not perfect. I often multitask while I am at prayer. Some say that's okay; others say that it's wrong in a big way. The latter group often quote biblical verses which state that if you don't focus on God alone your ticket to heaven won't get punched. But the interruptions - those real and those contrived - have been impossible to overcome.

And to all this, my sister - who really has been a Godsend to both my son and me (and who herself is dealing with health issues and so forth) - she tells me that I worry too much, and that God will provide. I see in my behavior patterns that my worrying and other attributes takes after my dear mother, God rest her soul. That God will provide is something I know but need reminders.

I am praying that the ride downhill does not become like a runaway freight train. I will survive the crash only if God steadies the momentum.

Until we meet again, may God be with you...and may He have mercy on us all...

+the Phoenix