Welcome, God and All...
Let's state the obvious. I am a sinner, trying to be a saint.
In the many lines throughout this chronicle, I have reminded myself and readers that I'm not perfect, even as I try to point out the flaws in thoughts and actions other than my own.
I have written out reflections of the self before, and they cover serious struggles I have faced, have dealt with, and still working on. I was reminded today about a mission in my life that I realize I have not managed well.
I am godfather to five people in my extended family; one (the oldest) is my youngest first cousin. The other four are a nephew and three nieces from my late wife's sisters' children. I somehow doubt the latter four even remember this - or want to. But I come to realize that it's not entirely their fault, nor the fault of their parents. This requires a bit of backtracking and some explanation.
In the modern age, especially outside Catholicism, the role of godparents is largely honorary. They act as witnesses of the event of a child's reception of baptism. If nothing else, they're supposed to help set a good spiritual example for their godchild or godchildren. As late as a century or so ago, godparents were able to legally assume custody of their godchild(ren) in the event the parents died untimely. Rarely that could lead to legal custody battles, but other than the occasional TV court show case, I have not experienced this sort of thing.
Within the Catholic Church, there is more to this. You can't choose just anyone, as one of the roles of the godparent(s) is to sponsor them for admittance in the Church. It's more than just witnessing. The godparents as well as the parents take vows promising to raise the children in the Catholic faith. The parents make the baptismal vows as a proxy for their children.
Thus, there are requirements that godparents must meet to assume this role - it's more than an honorary witness.
Godparents for children to be baptized and received into the Catholic Church must be Catholic themselves, having received both the Sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation. They must practice their faith consistently, generally by weekly attendance at Mass. And the two godparents must be of opposite gender, one male and one female. I understand that these prerequisites are in themselves quite difficult. And there's one more - the parents must and godparents are strongly urged to attend a sacramental preparation class, to better understand the implications of their respective roles. For a number of years, I facilitated this process, and I have officiated at a good number of baptisms during my five years of active diaconal ministry. Those years, however, generally ran after I had five times become a godfather.
The adult life of my five godchildren are not textbook examples of a practicing Catholic. I was made godfather of my cousin while I was in my early twenties. My uncle and aunt were better at practicing Catholicism than most people I know; this was the youngest of their seven children. The dark spot came when she decided to marry outside the faith. And I mean really outside, marrying a not-so-practicing Buddhist. She still attends Mass, but by herself, and my guess is that her siblings are so much better at practicing Catholicism that some of it rubbed off and just refused to let go.
Of the other four godchildren, two were baptized locally. Their father was an ultra-conservative Catholic who remembered his catechesis enough to carry on about how the kids were headed to Hell if they didn't attend Mass...but he didn't always attend himself, and his wife - my sister-in-law - carried the tradition set by her parents, who rarely saw the inside of a church, and the frequency got much longer as they got older.
The other two godchildren, belonging to another sister-in-law and her first husband were working as roadies for an entertainment company that provided carnival booths, games, and rides for various groups, both civic and church groups. They were working one such carnival for a Catholic parish not far away when my wife and I got a phone call asking if we would serve as godparents for the two children, a year apart in age and the youngest at least six months old. They had talked to the pastor of the church which was holding the carnival and arranged to have the children baptized. And it was done. But again, neither parent was that intent on being, as the Church states in her catechism, "first and primary" educators in teaching the faith to their children.
I have had a few occasions in which I made an effort to hold a conversation with some of my nieces, some of them goddaughters and some not. Most of those might well have been a waste of time, as the girls were in those formative teenage years when the education system leaves them the impression that they know more than their parents or elders about serious life issues. I warned there are always consequences in any decision, especially those with poor choices. But in the end, it went back to the simple fact that there was really no foundation in faith in the home.
Last summer I was seriously upbraided by the oldest of the four. I chronicled this in a previous blog post. I was publicly reflecting on the necessity of our prayers and our own changed ways of life to help push troubled souls toward God in Heaven. It obviously struck a nerve. I thought I acted with compassion in a very sensitive situation, and several people said as much. This, however, disturbed me. A recent homily on baptism and the difficulty of finding qualified godparents just brought all of this back, reminding me that even as I strive for holiness and urge many to seek the Truth in prayer and reflection, that I have made my own wrong turns along the way.
I pray frequently for all my extended family, that God will find the way to bring them into the fold of the sheep of the Good Shepherd. I realize, though, that what triggers finding the way may be catastrophic to them, and in a lesser way, to me. And I know that most saints, canonized or not, started out the same way. I have written before about the superabundance of God's mercy and I stand by it. But I realize that this is another incomprehensible mystery and must fear and respect it with all I can possibly give.
Until we meet again, may God be with you; and may God have mercy on us all...
+the Phoenix
