Making The Rough Places Plain: A Conversation

(Note: This is a journaling exercise I use infrequently. The last time I used it was six years ago, before the pandemic took hold. At that time the events gave the impression that the world was closing in upon me, and I sought refuge in the only way I could think of - meditative prayer and dialogue, writing down as in the form of an interview transcript. This term seems indifferent and even cold, but it's what comes to mind.)

February 23, 2026

Lord Jesus, I am troubled. I truly wish to seek your Wisdom. Humbly, I come to You.

Robert, please sit beside Me. I always have time for anyone who seeks the Spirit of wisdom, humility, knowledge, and perseverance...you do know a very important one, yes?

The Holy Spirit's gift of reverence, the "fear of the Lord"?

That's right. What troubles you, my son?

It seems that in my desire to follow You, love You, and serve You I am reminded of my not so glorious past. I made promises and broke them. I took vows and did not live up to them. I see disparity in Your Church and feel compelled to tell others that it's not perfect.

Slow down...one thing at a time. You confessed the broken promises and unfulfilled vows a long time ago.

Yes, but as King David expressed in his greatest penitential ode, "my sin is always before me...against You alone have I sinned and have done what is evil in Your sight" (Psalm 51).

Go on...

Are these offenses so great that I cannot overcome them? "Do not cast me away from Your presence, nor deprive me of Your Holy Spirit...Give me back the joy of Your salvation, and sustain me with a willing spirit"...have I made the wrong association with this prayer in my heart?

There are very few sins that cannot be 'overcome', as you say. But no one, let alone Myself, said it would be easy. Did you really believe everyone gets a Prodigal Son welcome? Have you not been told, have you misunderstood that consequences remain a very long time?

What happened?

I went to Mass this morning, presumably to operate the livestream for those in our community unable to attend. But a technical glitch happened and I wasn't able to do that. I informed my partner that we had a problem as I'm supposed to do. He asked me if I could serve as lector, as the regular lector is having surgery. I know I can't preach, but I'm still an instituted lector and I thought the role of the lector and the deacon were somewhat exclusive. I didn't realize that all these other roles within the sanctuary would be shut off as well. I got up to do the reading and was motioned away from the sanctuary by the pastor, who in a loud whisper reminded me of the sins of my past.

What did you do? How did you react?

Well, he's the boss, so to speak. It would certainly be inappropriate to challenge that while Mass is going on...

Yes.

So, I humbly went back to my seat, with the understanding that this is a boundary I can't cross, at least not there.

What do you mean by that?

Jesus, You know everything - so you must know that I have been given some unusual tasks at the other parish I have been serving in for a long time.

Of course, I know about this. What about it?

I sincerely accepted this honor, apparently with the permission of the priest who is parochial administrator - we have no pastor, as we may not even have a parish much longer. But am I stepping out of bounds doing so? My heart tells me no. So why is there a double standard? 

You do realize that this honorable task I have given you is temporary, don't you? Once things are settled one way or the other, the picture will change and will affect you. Or any number of other things as well - your health, your son's health...do I need to go on?

I have come a long way, my God, from those days when I felt forced to choose my path.

Stay with the ministry and cause scandal by separation or divorcing your wife. Accept that family came first and suffer the consequences. Did I say your choice was wrong?

No, you didn't.

Just because the Prodigal Son was welcomed back by his father - My Father, by the way - didn't mean that he wasn't reminded of his checkered past, especially by his older brother. Yeah, that part got left out. Luke thought it best to express that the ultimate return home - to Me and to My Father - is one of inexpressible joy.

Why did you want to do this? See a need, fill a need, right. You thought the roles of lector and deacon are mutually exclusive - you're correct, in My opinion - and it's not like you would do this that often. Just like you wouldn't facilitate the livestream every day, but you already do it more than you were originally asked to.

Don't you think you're doing enough already? Working in a ministerial capacity in three different parishes, and playing ecumenical musician for another congregation? Be honest, you know Who you're talking with.

God, I feel that I have these sins to make up for, the vows unfulfilled, the compassion You and others have shown me during all the times I have had to struggle. I have often questioned when I have done enough.

I am telling you. Robert, you are a talented and respected Church musician who doesn't take the act 'on the road'. Much like King David when he wrote and sang many of those psalms to Me. You are a leader and facilitator among men, with twice the number of My Apostles regularly attending. You assist in many capable ways and you yourself have said that these are things any lay minister is capable of doing but adding your credentials - even as checkered as they seem - adds dignity to what you do. Isn't that enough?

In all honesty, Jesus, I don't know what is enough. Is any work in the field of ministry ever enough? 

Robert, my son, if you were to take on another thing, there might not be room for the next younger believer to come forward. Don't concern yourself. Be aware that this might work in some places but not in others. These roles are but dessert following a most satisfying Meal. It may sound harsh, but it's okay to 'stay in your lane.' You now understand a boundary. You suffer because of what was. You're offering that suffering to Me. To restore what once was might take away from what is and what is to come. It would take much rearranging to cause that to happen. It's yours to choose. Right now, I don't need details. Just follow Me.

Thank You, Jesus. You have the answers. You have the words of everlasting life, as Peter said.

I'm not done, Robert. I love you, and because of it I died for you, but it's not time to say, "well done, good and faithful servant." I have made you well aware of the plight of many, and they deserve compassion and attention. Your compassion, your awareness, your action. Give some of yourself to that. I did.

I'll try.

Do. Or do not. There is no "try". (chuckling) Be at peace. I'm here whenever you need Me.

That's all the time, my Lord and God. All the time.

The "Post" - Flushing the Bowl

February 9, 2026 

Welcome, God and All...

Were you hoping I would not reflect on one of the biggest events in this (or any) year? Well, guess again.

Yesterday, the Seattle Seahawks and the New England Patriots played the National Football League's championship match in San Francisco. (Note that the city's name is from the Spanish language and in English would translate to "Saint Francis." But we don't do things like that. Here in the USA, when one refers to "San Francisco" it is assumed it's about the city by the bay, on the Pacific coast of the USA, famous for cable cars and the Golden Gate bridge.)

The game was pretty lackluster as compared to previous years. Five field goals were the only scores in the first three quarters of the contest. Finally, both teams woke up, but not soon enough for the Patriots, who were defeated by a score of 29-13.

This event is also a haven for advertisers who attempt to entertain while they also attempt to sell their goods and services. It's very expensive to advertise here. A 30-second spot costs millions and millions of dollars, and that's just to get it on the air; on top of that are production costs which are also high. Because of these costs, the actual return on this investment is usually low or even negative. There were a few worth watching. My top two were an ad for a hydration beverage featuring toilets singing Phil Collins' Against All Odds; and a spot featuring NFL tight ends basking in their hammocks underneath Enya's Only Time. What were they selling? Awareness of male prostate cancer which can be detected by a simple blood test. Been there, done that. Welcome to the club. Had to laugh only because it was such a surprise.

And there's one more thing. You are probably wondering when I would get around to this.

The half-time entertainment.

In high school and in most college football games this generally consisted of the school's marching band playing pop tunes in the style of John Philip Sousa while making Etch-A-Sketch style formations out on the field. The comedian Robert Klein once described this as playing Burt Bacharach's Goin' Out Of My Head while forming this big head on the field and then going out of it.

During the regular NFL season and the early playoff rounds, our entertainment consists of replays and analysis of the game we're watching as well as others being played concurrently. Nobody knows or perhaps cares what is going on at the stadium during half-time. Many people are using the restrooms or buying another round of food or drink or souvenirs. But not at the Super Bowl. This world class clash of titans demands world class entertainment. Fifteen minutes of it, to be precise. Ticketholders are paying exorbitant prices to see all of this up close. 

The biggest names in entertainment have lined up to have a possibility of performing at the Super Bowl because it commands a big audience and is a one-time, winner-takes-all event; contrasted to other professional sports which have a best of five or seven series. 

My point? I'm getting there.

Some folks watch the Super Bowl who are not aficionados of the sport, simply for that fifteen-minute concert at half-time. So every fall, when the league announces the headlining act, it's an event in itself. People start making plans based on who's performing. 

Now remember, dear readers, that musical entertainment, much like its use in the Church's liturgies, is highly subjective. Meaning that there will be those who won't like the scheduled performance, regardless of who he/she/it is. Also remember that professional sports is a business that, like every other business, will put before us anything that will bring the most attention to their product or service or event. The NFL, seeking to expand its footprint globally, chose as its headliner a Puerto Rican who performs under the name Bad Bunny. He is a very popular Latino musician, but for several reasons has not until now performed in the United States. He does not perform in the English language, but that does not seem to be an issue to his fan base.

Shifting gears for a moment, most entertainers and mainstream media has expressed - purportedly on our behalf - that the policies of the current president and his administration are extreme and dangerous; some even claim that these policies threaten the USA's 250-year-old democracy. At the very least, it was claimed that Bad Bunny (I'm resisting the urge to call him Mr. Bunny) would impart harmful influence on our children. Some have recognized - perhaps correctly - that the underlying issue is the lack of the teaching of the Bible and so-called Christian values. Some have claimed - incorrectly - that he is not an American citizen and should not be allowed to perform at the Super Bowl. That flies in the face of past performers such as the Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney, who were just as popular in their day but performed in English and are indeed foreigners.

To counterprogram, the conservative group Turning Point USA (founded by the late Charlie Kirk) staged "The All-American Halftime Show" which would air simultaneously. This dragged our national political drama and debate into what is supposed to be a family-friendly fifteen minutes of high-quality entertainment. And both sides debated loudly in social media. Bad Bunny was known to be unconventional in his performances. The All-American Halftime Show would feature...well, hopefully songs of Christian values. Songs about trucks and unfaithful relationships, but in English.

On and on it went. It bothered me quite a bit. The Super Bowl halftime shows have not been without controversy. A couple of years I decided to be busy elsewhere as described several paragraphs back. But I have changed, as I described in an earlier post. God has blessed me with a renewal of spirit that I felt would be tested regardless of which show I chose to watch.

Then I received a flash of inspiration.

Ever since I was a candidate for the permanent diaconate some thirty-five years ago, I have been required to pray Morning and Evening Prayer from the Divine Office. In the last year or so I have become better in keeping that commitment with the help of podcasts to which I pray along. The length of these podcasts is about 15 - 20 minutes, the same amount of time as the halftime show. It offered me an even better alternative to questionable content on either side. I went to my room and prayed. Didn't miss one moment of the second half of the game. It was the perfect ticket. I won't apologize for it and would do it again (and probably will). It provided the opportunity to walk away from the hype, the noise, the proselytizing and the so-called "dangerous" and "evil" lifestyle being shoved at me on my TV screen.

After that and noticing the game was still plodding along in the third quarter, I started scrolling through comments on the aforementioned performances. As I guessed, you loved one and hated the other. But there were pictures of Bad Bunny's performance, and he wasn't wearing a dress as he was known to do. Meanwhile, on the other end Kid Rock was performing in a (hopefully) fake fur jacket and shorts. (The kind of thing one might wear to make a late-night run to Walmart.) But the game was actually getting interesting, and I knew the programs would be available to watch on YouTube so I put it aside to watch in the morning.

I started with Bad Bunny's performance. Having read the commentaries the night before I had an idea of the story line behind it. It was a more-or-less legitimate 14-minute performance. My only critique is that either Apple Music or the NFL or NBC should have captioned his lyrics in English so that those not understanding Spanish would know what he was saying.

Then I searched for The All-American Halftime Show. It didn't take long to find, but I decided not to watch it as the podcasts timed at anywhere between 35 and 80 minutes. I was expecting fifteen minutes to cover the same time period, and the show was two to five times longer, and I can certainly guess what happened. A bunch of proselytizing to the potentially unchurched. I can get that in many other and better places, having been to Mass that morning and understanding that God intended the remainder of the Sabbath to rest from unnecessary labor as He did when the universe was created. Wouldn't fifteen minutes have been enough to get the Christian message across without politicizing it? A scene from The Chosen does infinitely better in that amount of time.

There are a lot of things at issue in the United States. I don't think anybody will argue that. But injustice has been present from the beginning of the great European migration in the early 1600s. They were escaping religious persecution in their homelands and brought all those prejudices with them. Indeed, there are signs that they've never been overcome. Case in point: One of the tipping points that led to the Revolutionary War for independence was the British Parliament's tax levies on the colonists. In Massachusetts and Virginia arose the rallying cry "no taxation without representation." And there are those who insist that Bad Bunny is a foreigner. He is from Puerto Rico, a territory of the United States of America. Our laws state that Puerto Ricans are citizens of our country, just as the colonists were considered and considered themselves to be British citizens, at least until we got into this taxation issue. Puerto Ricans are considered citizens of the United States. They are not permitted to vote in national elections. They have no real representation in Congress. Yet they go through the same hassle with income taxes that we go through this time each year.

Bad Bunny also gave us an important geography lesson. Last time I checked my atlas, there were two distinct "Americas" - the continents of North and South America. And the citizens of these continents and their nearby islands, from Argentina and Chile to Canada and Greenland can all be considered Americans. Our Lady of Guadeloupe is the patroness of the American continents. And America is named for an Italian mapmaker, Amerigo Vespucci, who was charting the Western Hemisphere and didn't know what else to call this newly discovered land, so he named the continents after himself. And those islands in the Caribbean are called the West "Indies" because initially Christopher Columbus (another Italian) thought he had reached the Indian frontier of the Eastern Hemisphere, filled with exotic spices and silk that weren't found in Europe. This is long before President Donald J. Trump was even close to being a blot on the landscape.

We appear to have a great deal of baggage to unload - or at least have a place to store it. Maybe Fort Knox is available. I hear they may reopen Alcatraz.

Until we meet again, may God be with you...and may God have mercy on us all...

+the Phoenix