The Servant of Servants

April 8, 2009
Today's Word:
Isaiah 50:4-9 (Third Song of the Servant revisited: "The Lord has given me a well-trained tongue")
Psalm 69:8-10, 21-22, 31-34 (I have become an outcast to my brothers...because zeal for your house consumes me)
Matthew 26:14-25 (Judas is paid thirty pieces of silver to lead the authorities to a place where Jesus can be arrested)

I'm posting a little ahead as I am taking the family this Wednesday morning to the Holy Hill shrine in Wisconsin.

The visit serves a multitude of purposes. As a purported place of miraculous healing, we are making an offering and prayer that the place will continue to offer hope to the many who visit, as did Brother Jesse, to whom I am indebted for introducing me to the place. For me, it is also a pilgrimage of prayer and meditation on the sacred events that will be celebrated by the Church over the next four days. It is also a chance to get away from home, something that's not easy to do for many reasons. We are being blessed with fair, seasonal weather for the day which will be welcome. The drive there would not be as pleasant under a fresh coating of ice or snow, both of which are all too possible for April. I hope to have something to share upon my return.

We are returned today to the third song of the Servant; it was also part of the Palm Sunday readings. The reading combined with the excerpts from Psalm 69 prompt me to think about the indelible character cast on the spirit of those receiving Holy Orders; and I will extend this to include the ministers of Christian churches beyond Catholicism.

After I was ordained, there was a marked change in the way people who knew me approached me. My colleagues in music ministry treated me differently than they had in the past. I didn't think I had changed - while music had been moved to the back seat, as it were, I hadn't stopped singing. Indeed, both priests under whom I served actively urged me to continue to do it as time permitted.

People have this preconceived notion of how they expect ministers to be. In some ways, you enter into ministry and you presumably fit a non-existent mold; or at least the uniform. But what happens when you don't fit? And how long does it take before you realize you don't, let alone convince others in a good way that you're not supposed to?

I'm sure there is many a frustrated priest or minister who had high hopes when they began, only to wonder if it's all worth the myriad of administrative tasking that can go with the job. It's stressful, and gets in the way of the very message that they believe God wanted them to deliver. Although I was not in an administrative role, I saw quite clearly what it can do to good people. And how it affects them as leaders ultimately affects the rest of us.

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I mentioned in a recent post that I had somehow made a few enemies through little of my own doing. While I became conscious of it, and wondered who they were and why they felt that way (something over which I was mystified at the time), I also had several supporters. These came mainly from the more senior members of the parish; the ladies and men who would make it to daily Mass and volunteered in many background areas of service, like cleaning and decorating the church. A couple of them in particular I would always enjoy engaging in conversation. They were retired, and I saw them as modern day prayer warriors.

Now the term 'prayer warrior' is not something you hear in Catholic circles; this would seem to be more of a thing you'd hear in evangelical or pentecostal circles. But praying is what these people did. And they prayed ceaselessly - out of devotion, out of thanksgiving; for their families and loved ones in any and all walks of life; for anything and every good thing under the sun and the Son. They prayed in words, and they prayed through the work for which they volunteered.

I acknowledge that I recognized this - not due to the desire to 'answer the call' and undergo all the training that ultimately led me to ordination. I mean, as an ordained minister I recognized this almost immediately - but I would have likely realized it anyway; it would simply have taken a little longer. These few were 'wholly devoted" as Steven Curtis Chapman might write; they 'got it' as Pastor Paul might say. Even if they didn't fully 'get it', they were well on their way without any outside help.

They are one of the reasons I am drawn to make the pilgrimage to Holy Hill. It's something any of them might love to do, and for all I know, maybe they did; and maybe they didn't...and maybe they didn't have to.

I will thank God that he has given me a 'well-trained tongue' in the ability and desire to share my journey in faith, with the hope that it may encourage anyone who might happen by to read. I will commit myself once more to see the sacred in all things, thus tearing down personal walls of separation. I want to pick up where these wonderful people might have left off in life. I will pray for people I've never met whose needs may be unknown to anyone but God. And I hope that in doing so, that Divine Power will direct my steps ever more fully to being the best I can be in everything I do.

The Servant of Hope

Today's Word:
Isaiah 49:1-6 (Second song of the servant: "It is too little for you to be my servant; I will make you a light to the nations")
Psalm 71:1-6, 15 & 17 (I will sing of the Lord's salvation)
John 13:21-38 (Jesus foretells Judas' betrayal and Peter's denial)

It will be a couple of short and sweets today and tomorrow.

Today, I am preparing to take a few days away from work so that there is enough time to get all the incidentals done, participate in the Holy Week services, and frame it with time with the family. The preparation involves extra planning and effort so that there is minimal disruption during my absence from work.

I trust I am not oversimplifying in saying that Jesus' earthly ministry was God's 'extra planning and effort.' He wants us to come to Him with minimal disruption, and His door is always open. Yet we with our busy lives tend to crowd our schedule to the point where there's often little time to reflect on what it's all about.

Paul Simon's Bridge Over Troubled Water was at the top of the charts at this time 39 years ago, in 1970. It's a great piece that you just don't seem to hear anymore. And it just seems to fit the image I have of the Servant Lord.

When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

The Servant of Peace

Today's Word:
Isaiah 42:1-7 (First Song of the Suffering Servant: "I, the Lord, have called you for the victory of justice")
Psalm 27:1-3, 13-14 (The Lord is my light and my help; whom should I fear?)
John 12:1-11
(Surely you're not saying we have the resources
To save the poor from their lot
There will be poor always, pathetically struggling
Look at the good things you've got!
Think while you still have Me, move while you still see Me...
You'll be lost and so sorry when I'm gone

--Everything's Alright excerpt from "Jesus Christ Superstar" )

How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things.
(Romans 10:15, cf. Isaiah 52:7, as heard in Handel's Messiah)

Whatever you did  for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.
(Matthew 25:40)

During the five years I was an active deacon, it got into my head that the most important way I could execute my office was to consider the plight of the many less fortunate than even my family and I were. As I mentioned previously, we were struggling; but we managed from time to time to pass on things we had accumulated to either others who could use it or to charity.

I did not then believe in the 'write a check' mentality of which we as a society use, even to the point of being casual. I still don't. While I will put loose change in the Salvation Army kettles at Christmastime, I feel better about donating food to the food pantries and goods to organizations who can resell them and take that cash value in exchange. Since then, we've also added paper recycling to the routine. We tend to generate a lot of it in part because we homeschool our son. The paper is recycled through Cornerstone when I can get out there, and our public library at other times. It's a win-win situation because not only does another benefit and the material we set aside is recycled or reused, but it prevents something else ending up in a landfill. (Our stewardship of the earth has led our planet in many ways to become poor and afflicted - and like any other living entity, we are charged to look after it!)

I digress. In those days, I did not want to court those who were well-off financially. I didn't see the point in it. There were others better skilled at sales pitches (as it were) to solicit contributions for whatever the need of the moment happened to be. No, I felt it more in line with what Jesus did to point out that by separating ourselves from others, we invited separation from God. (Not that God has ever been separated from us, as I have previously written; it is we ourselves who erect the virtual walls that divide and separate us from the God within each other.)

I may have made an enemy or two over those years by not paying them the attention they thought they were due. It wasn't that I ignored them completely; I was courteous and polite and generally kept any anxiety I might have been harboring away from public eyes. On the other hand, I may have made enemies simply because I got to where I was. I knew many things, but was not necessarily the soul of tact.

I was so convinced that this was the best choice that I chose as one of my first online aliases the name "DeaconPax". A deacon is a servant, and 'pax' is the Latin word for 'peace.' Jesus was the true Servant of Peace, and I wanted to emulate this. Given that I had periods of insufferable frustration and I used to lose my temper at the drop of a hat - one time somebody compared me to Donald Duck - this was another undertaking that took little thought and maybe deserved a lot more.

I've never forgotten it, though. While I no longer use that alias, I believe I am walking closer to the path that a servant of peace should trod. I take great inspiration from the example of Jesus, and from the images given in the four "servant songs" found in Isaiah. These four passages are seen to speak prophetically of Jesus, and all of them are part of this week's scripture readings.

For today, I pray that my eyes be opened from my own blindness, that I may help others see. I pray that I live my life with conviction; living the words I speak with love, compassion, and peace. And may I do it better the next time.

It Starts

Palm Sunday of the Lord's Passion

Today's Word:
Mark 11:1-10 or John 12:12-16 ("Hosanna! Blest is he who comes in the name of the Lord!")
Isaiah 50:4-7 (Third Song of the Suffering Servant: "The Lord has given me a well-trained tongue")
Psalm 22:8-9, 17-24 (They divide my garments among them, and for my vesture they cast lots)
Philippians 2:6-11 (Every knee should bow, and every tongue confess: Jesus Christ is Lord)
Mark 14:1 - 15:47 (The Passion according to Mark: "I tell you truly, I shall not drink again of the fruit of the vine until the day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God")

Sorry for the late post today - I had an early start with Mass this morning.

Ordinarily, Catholics hear the Scriptures 'proclaimed' at Mass by a reader. This was one of the privileges I had as a deacon - to proclaim the Gospel passage of the day. It was something I liked even more than the opportunity to preach. Why? 

The Word does have an ability to speak for Itself. But a bit of its luster can get lost when the reader delivers it flat - or in a monotone. (Some priests in my lifetime have done this as poorly as the laity, just to set the record straight.) I had always been complimented on my ability to read aloud, from the time I was four. It was nice to know that gift was still there. Whenever I was blessed with the opportunity, I wanted to read in such a way as to breathe some life into those words. Sometimes, though, the Word would sneak up on me, play games with who I was at the time, and nearly break my composure. I knew I had to hold back, but I sure didn't want to.

Anyway...twice a year, the full congregation gets involved. On Palm Sunday and again on Good Friday, the accounts of the Passion of Jesus are read from the Gospels. There are two readers; one acting as a narrator and one as a speaker who gets to play all the bit parts from Peter to Pilate. The presiding priest speaks the words of Jesus; andthe congregation plays the part of the Jerusalem locals who ultimately call for Christ's crucifixion.

Theologically, there's a reason for having the people restate the call for Jesus' death. It makes his condemnation at our hands as well as those of the people of the time. As we will hear on Good Friday:

It was our infirmities that he bore,
our sufferings that he endured...
He was pierced for our offenses,
crushed for our sins;
upon him was the chastisement that makes us whole,
by his stripes we were healed.
(Isaiah 53:4-5)

I don't know how well this sits with everybody, but it's part of the 'why'.

And what happens when an elderly reader completely loses his or her place, for some unknown reason? Or simply 'loses it' altogether? Such is likely to happen at least once. That's how powerful Jesus' last hours were; the kind of stuff that leaves you without words, numbed to the very core of your being.

I pray today that you will find a few minutes each day this week to pick out a verse or two from the daily readings (of your choice, or from the "Today's Word" heading at the beginning of my posts) and think about how all this was done not only for the people of that time, but for people of all time. Including me...and including you.

I will be busy as usual this season - and I'll keep posting here, trying to keep it timely and hopefully as fresh as it can be.

Almighty and ever-living God,

  it was your will that your Son Jesus take on our human flesh and suffer on the Cross,

  an example of humility for us to follow.

Grant, we ask you, that we may deserve

  both to learn the lessons of his passion

  and to share in his resurrection.
(Prayer from the Divine Office for Palm Sunday)

Capitulation?

Today's Word:
Ezekiel 37:21-28 (God will restore the nation of Israel from the Exile)
(Psalm:) Jeremiah 31:10-13 (The Lord will guard us as a shepherd guards his flock)
John 11:45-56 (Caiaphas: "One man should die instead of the people, that the whole nation may not perish")

I am prompted to consider the subject.

For the last six weeks I have put to consideration who I am and where I've been. It's one thing to do it privately. But by the very nature of putting those words in print, be it on paper or in a blog, it becomes public.

Methinks perhaps I whineth too much. I didn't think so, but I could be.

None of us were meant to walk alone. Most of us have family or friends with whom we interact and display our inner selves. But even to the most reclusive, God is there. A few days back I quoted Paul of Tarsus (to distinguish him from Paul of Cornerstone) who wrote that nothing separates us from God.

Nothing. No separation.

Then why do we look at our weaknesses as those things that separate us from God? Is it some tricky wordplay designed to blur that which God puts deep inside each one of us?

Ever since Johannes Gutenberg was inspired to create movable type, thus making the printed word readily accessible, technology has moved in such a way to put so many words in front of people. And so many, that the latest technological innovation challenges us to say the most with the fewest characters. Text messaging and online sites like Twitter only give you so much space, so you have to make it short and sweet. Often, though, that makes it about as boring as reading a TV program's brief synopsis in TV Guide.

Words have become way too cheap. Many make statements they cannot or do not intend to stand behind.

If I claim to have grown through my experiences, I have to be prepared to back it up. Change that - I have to willingly back it up even if not presented with a challenge that would require it.

We got on the scale this morning. Wife and son both gained about 2 pounds; I lost just over a pound. When this occurs, a change in habit is going to follow. Nobody likes that. As the one who lost weight, I could have let my loved ones argue things out and just come over to the computer and blather here about myself. Instead, I chose to get involved. Allowing an argument such as this between a parent and a teenage child solves nothing and puts everyone in a foul mood that could last the day.

I took son outside for fifteen minutes. Not to engage him in the argument he was having with mom, and not to sympathize with him, but to give everyone an opportunity to bask in relative silence, in which the voice of God is often best heard. It is a beautiful albeit chilly spring morning, and that slight chill is enough to clear my head.

Those closest to me know my story turns out. I have been challenged to describe how I've grown from the experience. That is forthcoming. I don't intend to quit now. Still, growth doesn't occur (at least with me) without acknowledging that you work through the challenges, obstacles, and potholes that are strewn across life's highway. Some are just too big to drive around.

It's Not About Me

Today's Word:
Genesis 17:3-9 (God makes Abraham the 'father of nations')
Psalm 105:4-9 (The Lord remembers his covenant forever)
John 8:51-59 ("Abraham rejoiced to see my day...before Abraham came to be, I AM")

This morning, I was simply prompted to dwell on this song.

("The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable." --Brennan Manning)

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?

Is this one for the people?
Is this one for the Lord?
Or do I simply serenade
For things I must afford?

You can jumble them together
My conflict still remains
Holiness is calling
In the midst of courting fame

'Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need Your love in their lives
Compromise is calling

What if I stumble
What if I fall?
What if I lose my step
And I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue
When my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble
And what if I fall?

What if I stumble
What if I fall?
You never turn in
The heat of it all
What if I stumble
What if I fall?

Father please forgive me
For I cannot compose
The fear that lives within me
Or the rate at which it grows

If struggle has a purpose
On the narrow road you've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses
Will leave a deadly scar

Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling

What if I stumble
What if I fall?
What if I lose my step
And I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue
When my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble
And what if I fall?

What if I stumble?
Everyone's got to crawl
When you know that
You're up against a wall
It's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl
When you know that

Everyone's got to crawl
When you know that
You're up against a wall
It's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl
When you know that

I hear You whispering my name
(You say)
My love for You will never change
(Never change)

What if I stumble
What if I fall?
What if I lose my step
And I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue
When my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble
And what if I fall?

What if I stumble
And what if I fall?
What if I lose my step
And I make fools of us all?

Will the love continue
When my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble
And what if I fall?

What if I stumble
What if I fall?
You never turn in
The heat of it all
What if I stumble
What if I fall?
You are my comfort
And my God

Is this one for the people
Is this one for the Lord?

--What If I Stumble (1995)
Toby McKeehan
from the DC Talk album "Jesus Freak"

Holiness continues to call - regardless of fame or famine; whether it be in the triumph of victory or the agony of defeat.

When I started this series, I knew I would recall my journey up to now. I want to look at those days all these years later with different vision. I know that to get to where I am today I had to go through it all.

Still, as I approach recalling the summit of ministry, and as I prepare once more to sing through the rituals that solemnly celebrate the climax of the Christian year, these questions remind me to stay focused on what it's all about.

It's not about me. Ultimately, it's about what's been done for me - and everyone else - and how this can work through me. I can still do this!

Rack, Shack, and Benny

Today's Word:
Daniel 3:14-20, 91-95 (Three men refuse to bow to an image of King Nebuchadnezzer)
(Psalm) Daniel 3:52-56 (The song of the three men in the fiery furnace)
John 8:31-42 ("If you remain in my word...you will know the truth; and the truth will set you free")

I'm terribly busy today and don't have a great deal of time to post a reflection, for which I apologize.

Nonetheless, God has provided an easy one for me today.

Daniel recounts the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego - they have other aliases depending on the biblical translation used.

To Phil Vischner, the creator of Veggie Tales, they're known as Rack Shack, and Benny.

To pass along the tradition of Bible stories to a young audience, Vischner adapts the story and has our trio of characters working in a chocolate factory making bunnies for Mr. Nezzar, who thinks his product is so good not only does everyone need them, all his factory workers should bow down to the large bunny statue he's put up in the courtyard.

Here's a clip from the show.





If you haven't seen it, I recommend it - your local library or Christian retailer most likely has the DVD.