May 22, 2021
Welcome, God and All...
A couple of days ago, I participated in the funeral Mass of a longtime ministry colleague and friend. He and I spent five years together preparing for service. Since we were practically neighbors at the time (living two blocks apart), we traveled together to our formation classes and retreats. This allowed for the two (or three) gathered in the name of the Lord, and His silent inspiration allowed the two of us to engage in the lively art of conversation while we shared this part of our life pilgrimage; not unlike the two disciples on the road to Emmaus (Luke 24).
I recall as if it were only a short time ago that my friend said that he felt his journey toward God was as if he were alone on a small boat with no oars or sail, taken by the winds and waves of the Holy Spirit to wherever he was being led. I was reminded of that in an episode of The Chosen, where Peter first encounters Jesus on the fishing boat - although there were sails and oars on it, the waters were very still, the winds were calm.
I still look back on diaconal formation and see myself and my colleagues channeling the fabled Three (times four) Musketeers. All for one and one for all. We would go out and transform the world by being deacons and beacons of light. We were prepared to say yes to God for anything. We were cautioned that it wouldn't be easy, but with Jesus in our corner, that didn't seem to be a great concern. We would learn otherwise quickly.
My story is detailed throughout this blog. I didn't readily consider my young family, and I certainly did not know then that I would be blessed (and I do consider myself blessed) with a son with developmental disabilities. My friend, along with most of the rest of my colleagues, were all older and their children out on their own. Still, both of us were burdened almost out of the starting gate by receiving new pastors who didn't necessarily see themselves parceling out pastoral-based ministry on subordinates. My friend managed to reach the diocesan office for clergy and religious and got himself reassigned until that pastor himself was reassigned a few years later. Me? No such luck - but looking back now, I came to realize that the path on which I now traveled in my pilgrimage was meant for me.
Not long after my son and I moved back to our old stomping grounds, there was a gathering at my old home parish that I attended. It so happened that three deacons (all named Bob) were there for the festivities, and we all gathered with the pastor as an unintended photo op. The elder among us had laid a nephew to rest some years ago. They had both just 'retired' from active ministry as health concerns prevented keeping what could easily have been (as I learn from other 'brothers' in ministry) a very busy schedule. I recall saying that one never fully retires from ordained ministry. I meant that, since there is always the burden of the ministry of prayer. And not unlike swimming against the current, I took to posting meditations and reflections such as the one you are now reading.
In spite of obstacles, I have been kept busy. Just when life seems to be stalling, God provides. While cautious, opportunities seem to find me, and I find myself accepting the call to serve. At home, I am finding answers to perhaps my biggest challenge; that is, being diaconal to my developmentally challenged son. How it is best to seemingly over-promote encouragement when he remembers to do the simple things many parents would ordinarily take for granted. To guide him, like the Good Shepherd, when he needs direction. To participate in all things in a spirit of cooperation; to prioritize challenges and ultimately release frustration privately in prayer. To allow God to utilize me or set me aside, as He wills. This latter can best be summarized this way: Expect nothing, but prepare for anything.
I missed my friend long ago, when our paths diverged from the common road on which we traveled. I miss him more today, as I know is now among the growing list of people for whom I pray that God has already taken into Paradise. The good news for today is that we recognized that we learned much from each other. This helped us both to grow and mature in faith. It's one of the most important things a person must do with the life and graces God gives him...her...and you...and me.
Until we meet again, may God be with you...and may God pour out his Spirit of mercy on us all...
+the Phoenix
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