Déjà Vu

Today's Word:
Micah 7:14-15, 18-20 (Who is like you, God, that pardons for the remnant of his inheritance?)
Psalm 103:1-4, 9-12 (He pardons all thy sins/Prolongs thy feeble breath/He healeth thine infirmities/And ransoms thee from death...)
Luke 15:1-32 (The parable of the lost son)

I had intended today to take a day off from the meanderings of my mind thus far. The coming week is a big one with several built-in concepts; from any it is relatively easy to write. I was simply going to offer a moment of mirth in the form of a video clip from YouTube that could allow you an opportunity to see God's hand in the otherwise silly and ridiculous. I'm still going to post that separately; you'll have to actually visit the blog site on the web to see it.

Out of habit I went to review the Lectionary citations for today, and realized that I could not let this one pass.

My dear wife has mentioned that I might be a bit hard on myself in examining where I've been and what I do. Today I turn the clock back to last summer and promise you I'm not down on myself.

Last July I had the opportunity to follow a devotional series that Pastor Paul and the community at Cornerstone put together, titled "Thirty Days of Grace." Designed to help keep vacationing members of the congregation up to speed, it was a series of daily devotionals plus the outlines of all the Sunday sermons for five weeks.

As a wandering minstrel I liked this concept. I could keep up with the series and not miss anything, even though my schedule might have me singing with the other church. But through some strange chance act, I found that I had several consecutive Sundays unscheduled (I was scheduled to sing Saturdays), so my son and I went to Cornerstone and took it all in.

One of the major themes in the series came from Luke's rendering of Jesus' parable of the prodigal/lost son. This was not the first time I felt I could identify with the young wanderer. I have definitely felt at times that I've squandered my share of the inheritance; maybe not on loose women, but there were definite excesses.

I was given an opportunity to sing a song that has become very near and dear to my heart.

Almighty God,
The Great I Am
Immovable Rock,
Omnipotent, powerful
Awesome Lord,
Victorious Warrior
Mighty Conquerer,
Commanding King of Kings
And the only time,
the only time I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me,
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again".
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left Home,
I knew I'd broken His heart
I wondered if
Things would ever be the same,

Then one night,
I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road, ahead I could see
It was the only time,
the only time I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me,
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again".
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise, It dropped me to my knees
When God ran

Holy God, Righteous One
Who turned my way
Now I know, He's been waiting
For this day

The day He ran to me,
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again".
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
I felt his love for me again
He ran to me,
Took me in His arms, held my head to His chest
And said "My son's come home again".
Looked in my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice
He said "Son!"
He said "Son!!!"
"My son, do you know I still love you??"

Oh, he ran to me
When God ran...

--When God Ran (1987)
Benny Hester

Powerful song, right?

And it got more powerful each time I sang it. Not just in rehearsal, and not just during worship; for you see, for some reason it was scheduled for three weeks straight. Paul and Jeff (the worship coordinator at Cornerstone) may have had their reasons. I had a personal encounter. It didn't take much time for me to relate these three times to Peter's three-fold reaffirmation of his love for Jesus (John 21:15-19). This was no coincidence. My open schedule last summer and the recurrence of this song was something I was meant to experience. I've had a hard time forgiving myself; this was God's way of telling me in a way I could understand that it's really okay. I had finally come home.

On the third occasion of singing When God Ran, another song framed the reading and preaching on the parable of the lost son. Though I've never sung it, I've made it mine as well.

I drug his name through godless places
And I've known shame that no child of his should know
I've seen pain on broken faces
Beyond all thought of hope
I was just too far from home
Still I always wondered when I closed my eyes

After all I've done
Could he run to me?
Would he kiss my face?
Could he even look at me?
After where I've been
should he take me back?
I would understand
I've disgraced him
But it would be amazing
If he still calls me son

With nothing left for me to bring him
I left my pride and turned my heart toward home
I saw my home on the horizon
And from a distance
I saw my Father
Watching for his own with forgiving eyes

After all I'd done
He just ran to me
Then he kissed my face
He would not let go of me
After where I'd been
He just welcomed me
I didn't understand
But he put his robe on me
It was so amazing
That he still called me son

One day as I breathe my last
And I know my days on earth have ended
When every hour is spent
I will close my eyes in amazement
And I'll hear angels
They'll be singing

Amazing Grace
Cause he will run to me
And he will kiss my face
He will not let go of me
After where I've been
He will welcome me
I won't understand
How he'll put his robe on me
It will be amazing
That he'll still call me son

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
When he calls me son
I once was lost but now I'm found
Cause he calls me Son

--Still Calls Me Son (2007)
John Waller

It is good that the reminders of joy and grace have come at this point. We're not quite halfway through the season. Much focus will be placed on the ugly reality of the events that allowed us to receive the grace that empowers and calls us to be sons and daughters of God.

Footnote: I started out this blog talking about a leap of faith taken by Mike, my organist friend. Due to budget cuts he'd lost his position on the Cornerstone staff, and had quickly found a new position at another church, one very much suited to his repertoire. I learned yesterday that his 'day job' as a teaching assistant and accompanist at my high school alma mater has been been eliminated, again due to budget cuts. He's in my prayers. I have walked that road once, and at the time it was Mike who had a big hand in showing me a direction. May he find himself not wanting.