'Twas On A Morning Like This

May 14, 2009
The Feast of Saint Matthias, Apostle

Today's Word:
Acts 1:15-26 (Matthias is elected to fill the place vacated by Judas)
Psalm 113:1-8 (The Lord will give him a seat with the leaders of his people)
John 15:9-17 ("I give you a new commandment: Love one another")

(Note: I initially wrote this post on Thursday morning. I did not post it publicly at the time as I wanted more time to read and re-read it privately. Sometimes, despite the best intention, I discover in hindsight that I humbly exalt myself a bit much. As I wrote, I sensed a need for a lot more time to discern what I was saying to and about myself. After consideration, I see no reason to hold back. I accept any feedback - or even the lack of it - lovingly.)

Fifteen years ago.
It was a day much like today.

I'm not going to recap the events of that day or the profound effect they've had - I've already spent a good part of two months replaying it.

What I will say is: With God's help, I shall change my life. I will never be the same again.

Back then, I did not know what I do today. I was oblivious to a great many things. I've made some progress, yet I still hold unrealistic concepts of the way everything works.
With God's help, I shall change my life. I will never be the same again.

In those days, I led myself and allowed myself to be led by agendas. While they seemed noble, they were agendas just the same. Some are very hard to unload. Some are even harder to understand. The Truth can be very hard to accept. But I will. Somehow.
With God's help, I shall change my life. I will never be the same again.

Jesus' greatest commandment is: Love one another. There are no exclusions or exceptions; no exemptions or aberrations. I am loved, am meant to be loved, and am meant to love others, without qualification. I have to let go, not hold back; praise any and all good without expecting any recompense. Giving praise to others - totally giving self to others - is an investment; recompense in itself. Though I may at times feel all but totally surrounded by uncaring people, I cannot let this snuff out the love and compassion I can give. Today, I rededicate myself to the ideals that inspired me all those years ago; ideals that should inspire all. I do it solely to bear quiet witness to that great commandment.
With God's help, I shall change my life. I will never be the same again.

I am yours, gracious and loving God. I am no longer an entity unto myself.

Put me to what You will, rank me with whom You will.

Put me to doing, put me to suffering.

Let me be employed for You, or laid aside for You,

exalted for you or brought low for You.

Let me be full, let me be empty.

Let me have all things, let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal. In this way only shall I find true peace.

And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

I am yours; only now can I take You into my heart.

So be it.

And the covenant which I have made on earth,

let it be ratified in heaven.

Amen.

(adapted from the Wesleyan Covenant prayer, c.1780)